Im so so sorry what a jerk!!! He is really just wrapped up in himself and is NOT man enough for you honey. He is just not right in the head. How dare he treat the mother of his children that way!!!
Happy mothers day.. you are a wonderful mother never forget that!!
Bananna and sausage.. wow lwb, your a braver woman than I
Don't let him drag you down, this is HIS problem.
xxxooo
Tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Hi lwb, Sorry to hear that your husband is still being an @ss. I'm done with my exam, so let me know if you want to get together....we have a lot to catch up on :-)
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I'm with everyone else...your H is a real piece of work.
I would bet that there is some provision in your HR department for your sitch...I know that it might be hard to talk about this to folks there (I'm dreading this part if/when i have to...H and I work for the same U), but it certainly would beat the problems that may crop up if you are unable to supply that info, and no one knows the real reason...
I sit here in tears. H just left. We had a horrible awful fight tonight. Words that hurt flew all through the air. I walked away, but was guilty of yelling too. We have so much anger. H will not budge on the house, says I am selfish, the whole bit. Once again our cycle, I try to stay on track and he brings up my 'list of why you are a horrible wife'. It was not pretty. I am very uncomfortable with the hate he has for me, and the hate that is growing in my heart.
I am so sorry lwb. I know how it feels to take the brunt of that kind of anger. I think I have that "horrible wife list" ingrained into my brain. Oddly, this hasn't gotten any better for me since he filed. I try and try to detach myself - that's what we should do, right? - but, I seem to fail miserably ALL the time!!
You know what they say about hate... it isn't the opposite of love but very close to it. It's still an emotion that you feel toward each... negative.. but still emotion..Not sure what you do with that, though.
Originally Posted By: lwb
This is from my H who has been chasing me around the house for weeks for sex.
My stbxh still blows up at me and then, wants sex... Call me crazy but, I don't think it's makeup sex when you are in the middle of a D!
Originally Posted By: lwb
I love my girls, they are my world. I hope I am theirs as well.
Of course you are...There is nothing better than having your babies to love
I feel sad reading about all the emotional upset and want to shower you with hugs, love.. and.. and.. (trying to think of a good one)... and second helping of banana and sausage casserole! It has to taste better than my first culinary creation... peanutbutter, jelly and mayonnaise sandwich.
Give yourself space. You can't fix him (why did I think vasectomy?) but you can take time to love yourself and relish the joy of your incredible children.
Thank you everyone. H's behavior was unbelievable last night. But even more unbelievable, H apologized today for things he said. This is a first. I thanked him, told him last night was rough on me too, and apologized as well. He was nice when I was telling the girls goodnight. Peace again in limbo land.
The finance thing is working out, but because of H's stubborn behavior, I have to add "Due to marital crisis, my spouse will not disclosure information" to many of the comments section. Lovely. But at least I won't get fired.
I am sticking to my "mediator or atty by the end of May" deal I put out there. I am afraid I can't trust him now to mediate. UGH
But even more unbelievable, H apologized today for things he said. This is a first. I thanked him, told him last night was rough on me too, and apologized as well.
Well thank heavens for small favors!!!
You can do this...you are an amazingly strong W and Mom!!! Just keep on hanging in there...
lwb, I would fully expect more upheavel between now and the end of may. you drew that line in the sand and put a time limit on it, and it is scaring the crap out of him. I fully believe that. if he had been ready for divorce he would have called mediators himself. he says its about the house that he hasn't, but you and I both know that is full of it.
not saying he will or won't push forward with D. not saying the boundary you set was a bad one. just saying its likely freaking him out as much as it is you, except in this one, my dear, you are at the helm. so he has that loss-of-control feeling on top of it.
stay steady...you are an amazing woman. and even though you had to write all that on the forms, you once again showed that nothing was going to stop you from being the strong, wonderful woman you just ARE. he keeps trying to plant bombs and you keep sidestepping them.
you are my hero, my lwb. you are.
(((HUGS)))
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Not only did he apologize, but last night, he neatly presented all the paperwork I needed for my work thing. Wow. I thanked him and told him I had to put something down ("due to marital crisis, spouse is not willing to disclose") on some items, and didn't know if I could remove it. He look mortified.
Last night, we went to D3's Ice Cream Social. I fully expected H to drive himself, but he rode with us. It was nice.
Last year, on the same night, H informed me he wanted to move out and wanted a divorce. Unknowne to me, he was in the middle of his EA and was beginning his PA. He was cruel and disrespectful to me at the function. I was so confused.
This year, here we are. But the difference is, *I* am in a better place. I have done the work to make myself a better person. H is the same person he was, possibly even more selfish. But H was very kind, polite and considerate to me. Odd what a year we have had.
