Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Drowning, still...

Sounds like you are thinking about telling your kids to make her look bad in their eyes. Bad idea. Don't put your kids in the middle of this.

If I confirm all of this, should I ask her to leave? I know she wants the house, but darn it, I am the one that wants to work on this M - she wants to live in her fantasy - so maybe I should do some tough love and say she should find a place to live. Of course, she then could make the D hell on me... I don't know what to do. I love her, but am becoming more and more detached. Right now, don't even want her to come home tonight as I am know I will backslide and ask if she saw the guy...

The cell phone kills me to, she is NEVER without it - that is a sign within itself.

Don't see my therapist for another hour - may explode by then. I may tell my parents not to come up this weekend - I don't know.

Going down a road I would rather not right now...

CBK

Gforce, that is what I am afraid of, that is why I am doing this, it is so vindictive, but how else do I get her to stop seeing this other guy? I know Puppy would say that I should expose the affair, she is cake-eating, which is true, Sandi would say no, there is nothing I can do except change in her eyes to see if she can change her mind.

Maybe we should go talk to her counselor since our MC is out of town.

I need to find strength.

Why am I financing her EA right now? Maybe PA? Tell me, how do I stop this? The bad part is that from the outside, I look like the one that has done all bad because of my travel, rumors already going around that I had an A - it would be so easy with my job.

Maybe I just need to suck it up, go to counseling, act "as if" - I don't know, I need answers again...

NO, NO, (((CBK))), keep swimming, no more drowning!

Thanks for checking on me earlier, I'm up and PMA-GALing again. A couple of months ago it would have taken me at least a day to get out of the blue mood.

Doesn't matter how bad is the rollercoaster, what goes down will go up soon.

Well CBK, let me tell you about the D, my W and I have gotten along great as you have been keeping up with my sitch, you know the sh!t I am in now and this even being nice. I really don't think that rather you are nice or not will make a da$n if she will make the D tough on you or not. Here this from someone who is going through it right now, I never ever saw this coming.

CBK, what the hell has happened? you were good earlier. stop letting your mind wander. Think about how great your weekend will be and what YOU will be doing. Stop thinking about them.

Don't you backslide.

Do not tell anyone. The A is her burden, and, unfortunately yours. Don't make it anyone else's. Just keep on keeping on. Your 180s are for real, you know that. If they aren't, make them real. What are you doing to GAL?

CBK, how did it go tonight?

Just got back - luckily I have a good IC. I am not going to talk to W tonight. The only thing the C said if W asked anything about my backslide on Saturday...

W, put yourself in my shoes - lets say I was in an A, you wanted to work on the M, I was still in contact with OW AND we are in the same house - what would you think? Of course I am going to get emotional and get upset or sad. In fact, C said this is a unique sitc' (he should read this board) and that anybody would react with emotions. But he also said as long as W is with OM, there is no hope for our M. So I need to get to a place where I can tolerate the sitc' and no longer worry about her. I feel better right now, will go hit my bucket of balls in a bit. Right now, I have no desire to be home, even with my kids here.

I now, boo hoo, grow a pair.

CBK

I need to journal. My W called my IC over the weekend, I had to give permission for him to call her back. He basically said prepare for the worst, she is wants out of the M and that is what is going to happen in two 1/2 weeks when we see the MC. I am so pissed off right now, I can't even see straight. I could only hit about 30 balls, then gave my bucket away - So WTF am I supposed to do... I can't even be civil to her right now I am so pissed off.

So I will let her fantasy play out, I will be a "good f#(ing guy" and not fight her. I will go dark as possible while living in the same house - right now, I just want to scream and cry. A lot of good that got me. I don't know if I would have listened earlier if DBing would have worked. This has only been 7 weeks! I read stories where folks go through a few months before this happens - finding the DB web site late.

I don't know what to do or where to go. Right now, I just hate her - I know strong work, but F HER. I am so pissed of right now.

What a sad sack I am - boo hoo. I know.

Sorry all, CBK