I don't have kids, so I don't have this aspect of WAS/MLC to deal with, but it seems to me from reading other threads here that it is very common for the H to "dump" the kids, too - until they have passed further thru the MLC tunnel. It is all part of the teenage level of thinking, I guess. It's so frustrating when perfectly reasonable requests/expectations get reframed by the WAS as "controlling". But, just par for the course in these situations. IMO - your request for an agreement on child care/visitation is completely normal. Of course it is something that gets settled, usually formally, in most separations. It allows both parties to plan, gives the child stability and the attention of each parent, and prevents fighting.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
Thanks for the responses! It means a great deal to me.
I sometimes think H is in MLC but other times not. He certianly has some symptoms that I cannot deny. Many of our problems have been around for some time but they seem to be repairable. Of course I can't force him into MC and he did go to IC. I think the IC should have been continued but I got the feeling that he didn't like what the T had to say. I think the T tried to encourage H to come home but H is a stubborn man.
Like I said above I don't need him. I love him dearly but I don't need him.
He can be sweet and kind one day and a complet a$$ the next. I guess if he wants to be a D!ck its his porrogitive. I am getting to the point that I don't want him around here. I asked him today "why are you here" LOL
I need a game plan of sorts.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Ok so this is my tarot card for tomorrow from my facebook page. Interesting huh?
Jen ************************* Judgement Judgement signifies the start of a new journey, guided by lessons learned in the past. It represents the culmination of your life's experiences and is about rebirth and resurrection. It is time to face demons from the past and make a fresh start using a clean slate. Make that final decision that will finally plunge you into a new situation
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Judgement signifies the start of a new journey, guided by lessons learned in the past. It represents the culmination of your life's experiences and is about rebirth and resurrection. It is time to face demons from the past and make a fresh start using a clean slate. Make that final decision that will finally plunge you into a new situation
WOW! Very interesting! I was thinking about going to a professional tarot reader a while ago but then I thought better of it. What if I'm told something (H is coming back or H is not coming back)and I start acting AS IF accordingly to what I've heard? Just didn't like the idea.
I understand your frustration with H. Unfortunately it's typical of WAS. Doesn't matter how much time they sp[end with kids, if any, they are still NOT THERE. I think you should talk it over with H later, when you are not angry, and tell him calmly that you need him to be with D on such and such days. And just stick to the arrangement. There is nothing you can do about him leaving D at his parents', I'm afraid.
Happy Mothers Day, btw, and congratulations on the gold and silver!!!
(((hugs)))
It is sooo funny that in Venesuela the Tooth Fairy is a Rat!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Hi Stella! The thing about tarot card reading is that they don't tell you exactly whats going to happen. You ask questions and the cards you select tell you the answers. But in my experience you don't get a straight yes or no answer.
I'm in a much better mood today Got my hair cut. H and D went out for BFast and I just feel good. I could still smack up with a 2X4 but at least I'm not crying.
He's a rat. A little rat think Ratatouille. LOL Of course he's doesn't wear a frilly dress and crown...thats just too sppoky for a kid. haha
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
D and I are going to a friends house for lunch. H didn't want to go (surprise, surprise) Sh!tty of him though because the Dad is Ds God Father and they're really good friends of ours. Seems that they might be mine after all this. As I mentioned before he's dropped many friends that we share. I think maybe because they've given him a hard time for leaving. His new friends don't know me so can validate his feeling more.
I got a "generic" Mother's day TM from H today. The same message he would have sent to all his friends who are Mom's. I sent him a message thanking him for the gift from D (a bikini and pair of jean shorts). I wonder if he'll even bother calling to say hi. I sent his Mom a TM also wishing her a nice day.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Got my hair cut. H and D went out for BFast and I just feel good. I could still smack up with a 2X4 but at least I'm not crying. 