Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Confused no longer - Give me the strength

Question is, did it work the same for him? Or send him running scared?

How true...

Well H mentioned as he was leaving last night he "might" stop in tonight when he got off work. He texted me druing lunch to tell me Dora was just at his store and ask when she was coming to our town.

Then he started texting later in the afternoon, I think mostly to work in that he would not be coming over after work. Either that or he wanted some sympathy, he is feeling sick, upset stomach has the chills. Told him ok, hope he feels better. Then I guess he sent some more texts that didn;t make it because he called to see why I had stopped responding. He offered to take D to daycare Fri morning so she could sleep in. I am off so there is no need so he said ok maybe I'll just come over to visit before work then. (when they came in an hour later stuck somewhere in cyberspace after the first 2 recd no response the 3rd was asking if I was out playing catch, and then came the phone call)

I opened D's school bag and there is a note in there from her teacher saying she was having trouble focusing. I am certain she sent this only because I sent a letter telling her H and moved out and I wanted to be advised of any changes that she noticed in D. I never mentioned to H I did this.

So I just I flipped him a text to tell him about this letter.

H - I wonder what is wrong (hmmmm, I wonder)

Me - Don't know for certain

H - It is only JK, it is probably just because she has friends

Me - maybe that is what it is

H - I am not worried about her she is a smart cookie, I will talk to her after gym tomorrow.

Me - r u going?

H - I will come by after work and we can drive together.

As I mentioned before D has 35 gym lessons a year. This is her second year. This will be H's 5th time going, 3 have been in the last 3 weeks. This is the first time we will be driving together the last 2 times he met us there.

He NEEDS to worry about her and what she might be going through.

My boys' teachers brought it to my attention when they were having trouble focusing in class, and this happened when?......Yep, 3 years ago, after their father moved out.

My sons are brilliant, "A" students. However, they are NOT immune to the devastating effects of separation and D.

I know he knows that is why. Of course it is why. Come on already. Even if it wasn't directly effecting her school work the fact that I cannot get her to go to sleep before 11 since he has left would effect it.

But he may not want to believe it. He might think coming around will be enough to make her feel that everything is ok and Daddy isn't going anywhere. Ignorant, but possible, and everything is not ok because her little world as she's always known it to be (whole and safe) has suddenly been shaken up.

(((((Neecy)))))

Last night when I went to pick her up at my BIL's, daddy had been with me when I dropped her off then left before I went to pick her up she asked where he was I said he went back to his friends house she giggled and said to Seans or Sarah's? I think she thought this would be a funny thing to say since I was so shocked the last time she said it.

I sent him a text earlier asking if maybe he can take D to meet his friend Sean and show her where he is living. Maybe it will help her understand a little what is going on, maybe it will help him understand too to actually talk to her about it.

Time for a truth dart: "Can you see what effect your decision to have an affair is having on her?"

Truth dart might be the only thing that helps.

My D6 has on and off tummy issues. While I don't completely know if its related, I won't rule it out. H was in complete denial when I first brought it up. But now (months later) he will entertain her problems might be environmental. I say nothing anymore.

I thought by telling him without specifically saying that he would think about it without thinking that the reason I said it was simply to try to make him feel guilty.

I think he was actually telling the truth about not coming over last night because he felt sick, he caled at 8 to say good night to D and said he had been sick 2 times and slept until then after work, I never believe a thing he says but then I woke up sick in the middle of the night so maybe this time I'll take his word for it.