Quote: Our Ses can be secretive, but they are not that good...........are they???
mine apparently is...I discoverd the "friendship" in nov of last year...it supposedly ended and we were working on things..h was attentive..affectionate..we were going out on dates once a week..some he even initiated..we were having sex at least once a week..and ya know what...h was still talking to ow every day and stoping by her house 3x a week..so then how do I really know for sure????
ok I never did get around to my three positives for today...
1. went to see finding nemo..with the kiddos..one of my friends and her son who is my sons friend..
2. h got home before 7...
3. this evening after putting dd to bed I went out into the yard and layed on the hammock while h and son worked int the "construction area" I curled over and got comfortable...h saw me and asked if I was alright..actually came all the way over and asked if I was ok..just tired I said...why don't you go get a blanket so the bugs don't eat you...cause then I'd fall asleep says I. Nice that he noticed me...nice that he was concerned for me..just nice.
I suppose I should stop thinking I'm being manipulated here..h is not a bad man..h is not a manipulator..h would not have come home if he intended to continue with ow...h would not stay home if he were still with ow..h actually never really was with ow..sure they had an innapropriate friendship...sure he grew feelings for her..contemplated being with her....and sure he left me..but it wasn't for her she was just a reason among reasons..
I was wondering that too, what Sage said, about focusing on the A when things are good.
That's something I do in a way, too. When things are good, it's like I get scared that I'm *missing* something and start digging up crud to get angry about? I think it comes from being scared of getting duped again. Like, I believed Mat would be *this* or be *that*, and he wasn't and I felt tricked by the whole thing. I dunno... once bitten, twice shy.
Okay.... three positives.... (today, they're about me
1. I thought long and hard about why I still feel resistance to accepting my M for what it is. I came up with several answers, many having to do with my childhood which gave me my aloofness with people (because they don't really care and they just leave eventually anyway.) This is really huge and I'm looking forward to expounding on these thoughts.
2. I kicked my house's butt yesterday. Mowed grass, 6 loads of laundry, two sick kids, dishes, lunches... I mean, Superwoman? Look Out!
3. Tomorrow is D's 5th birthday... we're getting her a new swing set! (okay, that one's not about me)
That is so kewl that H noticed you and seems like there are so many positives going on. The 3 positives that you right down everyday sounds like it is very helpful with keeping you on track with things. I think I might start doing that also.
HI, LL...just wanted to stop and say "hi"...I'm having a tough time with guilt & anxiety...haven't been on bb in past few days...3 good things:
1) SBH is being very very supportive of my emotional difficulties, despite his own continued feelings of pain & grief about my As
2) I'm learning a lot about myself - the bad stuff that REALLY needs to change, not just surface stuff that most therapists seem to have focused on with me in the past...
1. ok this is a funny one...son 4 has one of those power wheels extreme racer cars...and guess what LL decides to do..taker for a spin around the house...there I was a gigling away as h stood by his truck laughing at me.
2.h greeted me with a kiss (the usual kind) and then I gave him a hug...wich turned into h squeezing me so hard it felt like he was the one needing a hug.
3. ok well I can't think of a third right now cause I've been interupted by h asking me to do a favor...well actually h has asked me to call around to find someone to drain our septic system...hey that can be #3 after all...h talking to me about the house and keeping me involved in things.
LL, you are really starting to convince me this works!
Now, how do I get my W to start trying it?
She commented this evening how every day sure does suck. I responded with, why focus on the negative. Wasn't a couple of positive things that happened during your day? I guess she saw thru that as she returned with, "Where are you getting that psycho babble now?"
So here I sit by computer now...
...but coming here and reading all the positive points of your day does put a smile back on my face.
Sounds like those positives got you in a really good mood LL. Very good. The good things build on each other just like the bad. Its all a chain reaction. H's good mood put you in a good mood or vise versa. Either way it is very good. Tomorrow you both will be in better moods and so on and so on.
KAW, looks like you are going to have to jump on a power wheel to get your W to come around
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Quote: KAW, looks like you are going to have to jump on a power wheel to get your W to come around
I'm just a kid at heart I guess...the summer I had dd..as soon as my butt shrunk enough that I could fit on the slide..I went down it 10 times in a row just cause I could...I didn't think the power wheels would work with me on it...but when it did..I couldn't help but take it for a spin around the house!!
sometimes ya just gotta be a kid!!
ok ready for this one??
I am typically reluctant to make advances toward h...well because I've been rejected by him for so long (long before this whole sit even started..was always his libido we ran by) h was tired..said he couldn't do anything...well I told him he didn't have to..and ya know what..he may have been tired but he sure did enjoy himself..and I did too..even got tons and tons of real kisses to boot...I think h is falling for me!! and honestly who could blame him!! she paints..she cooks..she cleans..she looks pretty damn good on a power wheels vehicle and she'll even
ok bad ll bad ll calm down now don't want to excite the masses here.
