Thanks SD! I am taking baby steps. He has never given me reason to doubt. There have been some things that he has said that I over analyze and think the worst. But that is my problem and I am working to get past it. I am learning to block the negative thoughts when they start.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
and it probably has more to do with ME learning to trust that I can handle whatever might happen, valuing myself, and setting really clear boundaries. I trust myself enough to say what I need to.
I think I'm going to print this out and put it next to my bed. Read it when I get up, read it when I go to bed.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
I think we learn trust for a person, just as we learned suspicion. We never start with complete trust from that first letdown by our parents. It's just that we're balanced a little more toward suspicion right now. So, it takes time to learn trust with a new person. If he's worth it, he'll do it.
I guess I look at things a little differently. When I first went through this I wondered how on earth I would ever trust anyone again. Now I am at a place where I trust people until they give me a reason not to. It took a while, but I don't want to live with the idea that just because ex did what he did, that I have to go through life looking at everyone with a suspicious eye.
If something doesn't feel right them address it. I do agree with SD people can't read our minds so you have to ask for what you want. I'm not sure where you are in the relationship. Do you feel that you're at a place where you have a right to ask?
whatch it wiggle see it... oops off track there. I have great communication with him. He also has trust issues. I have been able to talk to him about trust. I have always gone through life with that suspicous eye you mentioned. I believe now I need to shed it and give people more of a chance. My X questioned my every move at one point and It nearly pushed me away. I would hate to push someone away because of my own insecurities. Every day is a new learning experiance Now if I can learn not to make those jello shots so darn strong Thanks for stopping by Bethie!!
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Hi Shoester! Glad to hear things are going well for you and the Hunky Hunter!
Originally Posted By: shoeprincess
...I over analyze and think the worst. But that is my problem and I am working to get past it. I am learning to block the negative thoughts when they start.
How many times have we all fallen into that trap? But I know you are sooooo much better about this now, than Back In The Day - so don't sweat it too bad that you haven't quite made it to "perfect" yet.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
I have great communication with him. He also has trust issues. I have been able to talk to him about trust. I have always gone through life with that suspicous eye you mentioned. I believe now I need to shed it and give people more of a chance. My X questioned my every move at one point and It nearly pushed me away. I would hate to push someone away because of my own insecurities. Every day is a new learning experiance 
Now if I can learn not to make those jello shots so darn strong 