Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

CBK,

Not only would I encourage you to take the job offer, but I'd like you to consider the fact that it might be ANSWERED PRAYER. This may be just what you need to detach, and maybe God knows you need something dramatic like this in order to pull it off.

He knows you better than anyone, and you've been praying about things, right??

NO R TALKS!!!!!!!!

Puppy

Yea, it could be a answer to a prayer - one of her complaints was that I am so involved with my current work, this would allow me to re-look at my current carrer - this would actually be a pretty big change and would spend some of my time in Western Canada. I am taking this very seriously.

Yes, in fact, W and I put a moratorium on R talks for two weeks! We both think they are way to stressful.

Weekends are so tough, even with grown kids. We would just hang out all the time when it was just us, part of the problem, way to simple... I have a 9 AM flight tomorrow, so only need to get through one more night then off to see some really good friends and colleagues that know "most" of my sitc'.

Peace,

CBK

Just journaling a bit. This is why R talks shouldn't happen. So after talk, W basically went into her room and journaled for about 2 hours. Of course, my mind is going crazy, thinking is is writing us off, etc. Then I go and say, well, maybe she is having second thoughts. I don't know what to think half the time, then I tell myself, DON'T THINK!

It would be so much easier if I wasn't so attacted to her. One thing I said today was that I have to reconstruct my world as she was the center before. I even went so far as to ask if she would be interested in going to Retro - she said that she isn't in a place right now.

I know, I know, she is in a fog, but dang, you would never know. She seems so convicted on her thoughts. And, yes, I know, believe nothing they tell you.

We are going to a block party in a few. This will be real fun... Sandi warned me not to go, but I had already committed to our friends. So of course, stomach is in knot, head is spinning and back is aching... such is life in this new world I live in.

CBK

Well, just got back from the neighborhood party. It actually went better than I thought. I was very social with the neighbors and W seemed to only hand around a couple of her friends. I was getting ready to change my clothes to "warmer" and W wanted to go home. We did. She was laying in bed, and I went in and said I love you, I miss you and you are beautiful and kissed her on the forehead and walked out. She was so distant to me tonight , I figured what the hey - this is Jeff's idea, and I walked right out afterwards. I am thinking about going back to hang with the guys - why not. Will see.

Hang tuff all.

CBK

Great idea to go back to "hang out" with the guys!!! You need to get your mind off W for a while.
Have fun!!!

Hi CBK, sorry you are having a tough time this weekend, sounds like many of us are in this same situation this weekend. I have to say on the job front, you must make this decision for you, not what you think will win your W back. I hate to say this but there is a chance that she may never come back so it is important that you do this for you, if it is something that you truly want, then go for it. I would hate to see you regret it later on plus as you said your kids and mother would be closer.

I am glad you are going to see some friends tomorrow, that will help to ease the pain right now. Go and have FUN, get your mind off of your sitch for the next few days, this will also help you think clearer.

I am sorry you are in this sitch here with many of us. One thing we all must realize, our lives will go on with or without our spouses. This is hard to realize at this time but we can and will make it. The key to this is we have to set our minds to believing all will be OK.

Keep fighting your fight, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

I am ready to go off tonight. I just texted W to come home - I am ready to blow. God help me.

CBK, what is going on, I thought you and W were in for tonight after the get together. Don't do anything crazy, keep your distance from W, remember that you are leaving tomorrow to go and see some friends and that will make you feel much better. Hang in there.

job idea sounds like just what you need. it cant hurt at this point and can possibly have her miss you a bit. i hate weekends too. thats sad isnt it.

Too late ping... I had the Puppy conversation - basically said she should no longer contact the guy, she admitted she did today - I said she needs to move out if she continues to talk with him, I was a friggin mess. I was actually having a great time today, no issues, actually kissed her on the forehead... then mind started to wander.

I don't know if I will ever get back with W right now... life sucks.

CBK