Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse voice mail of our song -advice pls

now i was just told by my niece that lives across the street from me; that today she caught him driving by in his work truck. drove super slow paused at my house then saw her and took off like oh crap i've been caught.

What is this?

LOL he's coming around. Play it cool and see what happens.

Jen

i tell ya, my patience are so i don't even know. i even made my myspace account viewable by all, i changed it all the way. a month ago it was full of anger and hatred for him, but now i made it all about me being single, flirty, dancing and such.

i read through some other posts about people on myspace and facebook. i don't know how he will view myspace page now, meaning get jealous, motivate him, or turn him off. i guess it's like i'm sending a msg i'v moved on, acting as though i have but really haven't. i guess i really should n't worry about how he sees my myspace or matter what his opinion is.

it's been 33 days since he has seen me or our d, no contact whatsoever, this is where my patience don't make sense with the brain. can anyone tell me how a father can stay away from his baby girl? the things that my h and i did to each other were just really poor communication, not discussing expectations, what is it in how he can stay away from her?

okay now if he does show up at my door, what am i to do, be cool, listen to what he says and then?

I've done that too...in the past. You need to stop that. It doesn't help you. It's kind of like reliving what you want or similar to spying, in that whatever you see/learn will not help you. It will only hurt you. Just seeing the place hurts me. So many little things I'd like to do. But it doesn't help. Until my W is willing, then it is just a test of torture. Even when I see that the place is a mess and she has not moved on, it still doesn't make me feel good...just thoughts. i've had that kind of thought before...but I always come back to the thought that the "shock" of it might not be a big deal to my W. It might be exactly what they want and you'll not get the response you want. They way you say it makes me feel as if you "want" something, hoping for a change of heart by his reaction. If you did something like that, you would have to be ready for the other choice that is available to him.

listen more...talk less play it cool. Don't be needy. Get a feel for where he is at. He might pursue you. He might want to see what is up...sounds like he is checking things out...reflecting anyhow. Listen...you won't learn anything while you are talking...

gl2u


Just my two cents.

well last night he sent a friend over with diapers and a letter.

letter basically asks how i am, how the baby is, he misses her, wants to come to some kind of agreement of visitation,, knows me and him can't see each other because he's a crappy father, what he wanted in life he can't have now and gives me his phone number to cal him.

yeah now what?

Now what?

Call him and let him tell you what his idea's are and take it from there. On the fly make it happen, but stay away from R talks unless he dives in deep. He may be trying to find out if you will take him back.

if he would have done this a month a go i would have called upon getting his number immediately. now, all advice, db books, etc stress patience and going slowly.

i do think he is fishing to see where i am at, but i think i'm going to wait about a week to call. i think in the relm of respect he needs to step up and make real contact with me, either calling me or coming over for a face to face. now will he do this i don't know. i do know that he is so expecting me to jump so fast to call him and i'm not gonna do that. true he now in his own way put the ball in my court but how in the world can he expect after lrt of 40 days no contact whatsoever he could just jump into seeing his daughter. when for the last 7 3/4 months of her life he has been a ghost, she doesn't even know him.

i've done fairly well for those 40 days lost 18 lbs, trying to get back to the gym, daughter won't let anyone else watch her, they call me 20 mins into my workout bcuz she's crying hysterically, i haven't given up on that, but want to do it at her pace for less stress on her. i've even managed to go out 1 time after my d has been in bed asleep for the night and have plans for this sat to do it again. all part of my gal. i know that if i contact him i may slip back into the waiting aroudn for him and i don't want that.

i don't know, the fact he writes what i wanted in life i can no longer have - rips me apart, like telling me that is hope on his end and testing the waters to see where i'm at.

i remember when we met, i was body building not bulky but toned, went out every weekend and the second he went to get us a drink 3 men would be hitting on me, he had to totally step up his game, and yes i do miss that. i just think he feels after a friend of mine sent him a msg that i'm now dating and unavailable to him so now he wants me. more of michele's we all want what we can't have.

after thinking about it, come on now, he hasn't supported his d for months what about that? when i think of it that way, hey he needs to step up his game, make some concessions for our daughter before he gets the keys.

if he would have done this a month a go i would have called upon getting his number immediately. now, all advice, db books, etc stress patience and going slowly.

i do think he is fishing to see where i am at, but i think i'm going to wait about a week to call. i think in the relm of respect he needs to step up and make real contact with me, either calling me or coming over for a face to face. now will he do this i don't know. i do know that he is so expecting me to jump so fast to call him and i'm not gonna do that. true he now in his own way put the ball in my court but how in the world can he expect after lrt of 40 days no contact whatsoever he could just jump into seeing his daughter. when for the last 7 3/4 months of her life he has been a ghost, she doesn't even know him.

i've done fairly well for those 40 days lost 18 lbs, trying to get back to the gym, daughter won't let anyone else watch her, they call me 20 mins into my workout bcuz she's crying hysterically, i haven't given up on that, but want to do it at her pace for less stress on her. i've even managed to go out 1 time after my d has been in bed asleep for the night and have plans for this sat to do it again. all part of my gal. i know that if i contact him i may slip back into the waiting aroudn for him and i don't want that.

i don't know, the fact he writes what i wanted in life i can no longer have - rips me apart, like telling me that is hope on his end and testing the waters to see where i'm at.

i remember when we met, i was body building not bulky but toned, went out every weekend and the second he went to get us a drink 3 men would be hitting on me, he had to totally step up his game, and yes i do miss that. i just think he feels after a friend of mine sent him a msg that i'm now dating and (which i'm not) unavailable to him so now he wants me. more of michele's we all want what we can't have.

after thinking about it, come on now, he hasn't supported his d for months what about that? when i think of it that way, hey he needs to step up his game, make some concessions for our daughter before he gets the keys.

Great, so you have decided he needs to act not talk. Good place to be, I can't imagine how tuff it must be on you. Keep up the good work and your right he should step his game up!

I agree, don't call him, let him call you. He is expecting you to call him therefore he will want to see that you are still waiting on him. Make him make the first contact via phone or in person.