Mike I feel for you man, as you have seen on my post the drama that I have going on right now. It kind of makes you want to say the hell with it. I still have some thinking to do on my end to find out how I am going to procede with these latest happenings. Hang in there, seems we are finding out stuff about ending the marriage at the same time. Must be the weather.
Just want to make that clear for others. If my wife or kids were doing something out of character, you better believe that I would take charge to find out the reason for the change and would not sweep it under the rug. Once you know the facts all snooping can end and you can come up with a game plan based on the information you uncovered. You have a right to know the TRUTH. People in affairs will lie through their teeth and we all know it. When they are out of character there is a reason and you should find out for sure what that reason is so you can best deal with it.
Ok, here is the deal. She was followed this morning. She took me to pick up the car, early..I had someone sitting there to tail her when she dropped me off. She dropped me off and left, the person followed her back to her mom's. She dropped my D off at her mom's, went back to the town we had just left after picking up my vehicle..(backtracked 8 miles)..went into a office where they were giving a (court Required) seminar (that we have to take for the Divorce) on how to be an effective co-parent. The seminar was from 9:00-1:00 today. She was seen going into the seminar and she paid to registrar for the course. I passed my MIL in her car with my D early this morning.
I don't know why my W felt like she could not be truthful and tell me that she was doing this. I assume that she thought that me knowing might lead to a disagreement??
She has said through all of this that she does not want to hurt me and maybe she thinks me knowing that she is taking the class will cause me more pain??
Damn..looks like there is no stopping this. She is hell bent on it.
I have snooped, looked, had her followed..there is no evidence of an affair. There is no doubt in my mind..
Looks like she is just done with me. I will go on. I know where the road is leading me. There is only one path. I'm 44, and starting over again. The second time in my life. It is difficult and sad to have to do. It is an overwhelming proposition.
Well...she's back. More lies..I had actually passed her this morning as she was backtracking back to the seminar. She saw me and pulled over because I had left my sunglasses in her car. She gave them to me and I asked her "where u going?" she said to get breakfast, problem is she was going the opposite way..away from restaurants. I also passed my MIL 1 hour after that and MIL had my D.
I asked the W where she got breakfast, she said Hardee's..there's not a Hardee's within 10 miles of where she was. I asked her what else they did..she said watched 2 movies with D, talked..Interior decorator came by there to see her mom..all lies..MIl was in car w/D..did not see a decorator riding shotgun.
W in bed now...She's tired...tired of lieing..guilt must be eating her up.
Stop trying to fact check. You know she is being dishonest with you. So stop believing what she says. Trying to catch every lie accomplishes nothing and will tear you apart. Believe me, I know.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Stop trying to fact check. You know she is being dishonest with you. So stop believing what she says. Trying to catch every lie accomplishes nothing and will tear you apart. Believe me, I know.
so do nothing?? don't document any of this or anything??
You know she wants out. You know she is not being truthful. If you still want to work to save your M, then work on it, but how will documentation help you reach that goal? You said a few posts back that you are ready to move on. If you have made that decision, then what purpose does documentation serve in that case?
I know you are hurting and feel like you need and have a right to know what is going on. I did too. My W lied about her A, even when confronted with the truth staring us both in the face. I detailed the evidence I had against her so there was no denying it. She was briefly remorseful but mostly got pissed about my snooping and a little while later moved out. Our D will be final in a month.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
You know she wants out. You know she is not being truthful. If you still want to work to save your M, then work on it, but how will documentation help you reach that goal? You said a few posts back that you are ready to move on. If you have made that decision, then what purpose does documentation serve in that case?
I know you are hurting and feel like you need and have a right to know what is going on. I did too. My W lied about her A, even when confronted with the truth staring us both in the face. I detailed the evidence I had against her so there was no denying it. She was briefly remorseful but mostly got pissed about my snooping and a little while later moved out. Our D will be final in a month.
you're right.. Thanks for coming in an smacking me up side the head. I'm just pissed right now. Pissed that I'm being lied to about something so stupid....you know, why not tell me she's going to the class..it's court ordered we have to go. Why try to hide it? Lie, then back it up with lies? Holy s**t. I don't understand. I am ready to move on..I have to be ready to move on. Looks like the decision is being made for me. By the way G-thanks for stopping over here. I have read your thread.
I went to the coparenting class you with my W. If it is a requirement for one then it is for the other. As far as the other crap, who knows why she couldn't be truthful about it. Bottom line it doesn't change anything. It is actually a great class and is very necessary since many divorces use their kids to get at the other. My SIL should take the class my W and I agree, but it is not a requirement in her state.
You have to take it within two months of filing in my state. They also have another class about called while we heal, it is the same but focus 's more on those that are "trying" to work it out. The most memorable line from the class is everyone that is here should realize they are also to blame for where they are. It takes two, I loved it. Should have seen the faces of the masses that just looked in disbielf. I found it to be a good class.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
I went to the coparenting class you with my W. If it is a requirement for one then it is for the other. As far as the other crap, who knows why she couldn't be truthful about it. Bottom line it doesn't change anything. It is actually a great class and is very necessary since many divorces use their kids to get at the other. My SIL should take the class my W and I agree, but it is not a requirement in her state.
You have to take it within two months of filing in my state. They also have another class about called while we heal, it is the same but focus 's more on those that are "trying" to work it out. The most memorable line from the class is everyone that is here should realize they are also to blame for where they are. It takes two, I loved it. Should have seen the faces of the masses that just looked in disbielf. I found it to be a good class. Hang in there
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
Mike, I'm not sure why your W feels she has to lie to you about it either. Doesn't make any sense, maybe she feels she will show whoever that she is the better parent by being proactive and going on and taking the course, who knows. I don't think we have anything like that here in NC.
Either way, I'm glad that you didn't find out what was in your mind yesterday about your W, that would have been hard to deal with.
Hang in there, I know you feel defeated right now and feel lost, I am there with you buddy, we will get through this and life will go on without who these women have become.
