Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Working on my W's MLC - the saga continues II

THAT is worth something Fix.

Is she coming forward more as you go dark?

No not much has changed. She still does her own thing and I've been doing my own thing.

Fixer

Is your life better? Do you feel better?

I feel like I'm doing the right thing for my D. If my W comes around its a bonus. I've learned so many ways to get my point across and to deal with conflict.

While I've been moving along with my own life I've learned more about me.

If the day comes that I have to leave - I'll be prepared.

Fixer

Last night and this morning we got into a big fight. She wanted more money for another bill she didn't have the money to pay. Like a sap I bailed her out, if it wasn't a utility bill I would of let it go. I tried to remind her that if we had a budget, things like this wouldn't catch us off guard. She yelled at me and told me she didn't want to be lectured. I got angry and told her to come up with the her own money for the bill.

This morning I couldn't stop thinking that I was wasting my time. I know I've said that this is for D10, but I'm only human. Things I've said that I'm sure I should have bit my tongue were:

You need to grow up!
If you had any idea you would treat your future H like this why would you even think of getting M'd.
I told her I thought she was withholding her affection as a way of controlling the M.
I told her she needs to get help.
I told her that I've done what I can but our MC isn't helping us and she can see him by herself.

I know I messed up, but I don't care. Before I left the house I told her: I still L you today... I'll still L you tomorrow... but after that I don't know what's going to happen. Then I told her IL her and left.

I don't think she heard anything I had to say. Our M is a joke, yesterday I said we don't have, fortune, we don't have fame and we don't have L keeping us together.

I'm angry... I'm tired... I'm hurt...

Whoever reads this an MLC isn't the easiest thing to deal with. I don't see my W changing at all. Unless she wakes up and give the M some real effort I see a divorce in our future.

Fixer

Fixer

i may receive a sound smacking for this statement but I stand by it

you can not stay married for your child

it is too much pressure ont hat little innocent

and

if you don't think they know the only reason you are staying together is for them...think again

if you are only staying married for your daughter, please understand that yes, a loving 2 parent household is best

a LOVING 2 parent household

keeping a marriage together is too much pressure for a little girl

you should be staying married for you, for your spouse.

Not sure your wife has needed to wake up.

And I also agree, staying married for your children...

I think you make sacrifices for your children, but not your happiness.

A Marriage should be an example of something to aspire to. Be it with their mother or another person.

Fixer
So agree w/ Fig.
You've heard it over and over I am sure that a loving parent(s) is what your D needs, that may be together or it may be seperate, but two happy , loving parents will help your D in growing up. She will know if you decide not to stay married to your W that you did try everything , up and beyond to keep it together, don't worry that she will think negative of you in anyway.
Ask any of us in S, our children know we tried everything, they respect us for that, your D will too. She will be fine if you decide to a different route.

Good Luck Fixer

Thank you all to the response my last post. It helps to know there's people out there who understand how much I've tried.

Fig - Thanks for being brave and pointing out that a D might not be a bad thing in the long run.

Jack - Thanks for reminding me that I still should have some happiness in my life.

Karen - I hope D10 will be alright if I get a D. Thanks for reminding me that my D will still L.

Fixer

I think she needs to be shaken up Fix. There is no reason to change for her...there is for you.

I am not saying move on yet, but I am saying, if nothing changes despite what you do...I would.

Fix, you are one of those examples of patience that impress me, but at the same time...man I can feel your burden in your posts.

Change something. Shake her up.

My heart hurts for you. You got your marriage, but at the cost of your realtionship. You guys are room mates at best.

Fixer...fix it. : )