But I don't say things like that, definately not, so where would she learn this from? She watches the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon and they don't say things there either.
Regarding your possible cancer, IMO, I would go for another opinion. Dr.'s have been known to get it wrong before and one more opinion couldn't hurt. (((((hugs))))) I wish you all the best.
Second, I couldn't believe what I read about your D7 because for the last week or so I have been going through the same thing with my S7!
S7 was never a back talker and always did as I asked, now he has come up with an attitude and not respecting me all the time. My Mom said he is being a typical seven year old where he is testing his limits. It just hurts me for him to treat me that way and I sat him down and told him so.
I basically told him that I loved him very much but I would not tolerate his behavior. I told him that it hurts my feelings when he treats me like that and I don't like it. I have sent him to some time out and eventually he comes out of his attitude but then he will get snotty again. Last night I had him go to bed a little early because I thought he wasn't getting enough sleep.
It just bothers me because I know he does not treat his father like that. Maybe he wants to but he is too scared so he takes it out on me?
Sorry for venting on your thread. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in that boat. ((((((hugs))))))
Wow, thanks MrsH! I'm VERY glad to hear that a child this same age is doing the same thing. I've asked D why she doesn't act like this with her dad and she said "it's because I don't see him all the time". So she wants to enjoy her time with him. Maybe that's what your S is thinking too.
It just upsets me that she said the killing herself comment. She's so young to say that and even know what it would mean. I was stunned and didn't ask her if she knew what she was saying and she was too mad to talk probably anyway.
I'm going to just continue to express my love to her and talk to her about her feelings, etc. I'm still in the process of finding a dang C in my insurance network so maybe they'll see kids too.
It sucks that life it up in turmoil for the kids though. It's hard for us to go through it so I imagine it's a big mess for the kids, and they're not sure how to express all their feelings at times either.
Dar, I would get her into counseling if she is saying she wants to do harm to herself. That's a cry for help for sure.
I think some of the attitude they pick up they learn from school.
Then I also think my S7 thinks he can disrespect me because his father does. He probably figures if his father does it why can't I?
This is why I have sat s7 down and told him that the way his father talks to me sometimes is just not right. I told him I don't deserved to be treated that way.
In the past D has told me "if Daddy can say this then so can I". So I'm SURE it has partly to do with how they see us being treated. However, there's a difference to me in putting up with it from H and from D. D doesn't know half of what H has said and why I'm doing what I'm doing. She only sees the actions he used to take towards me. Thank goodness H has calmed down now....but unfortunately D is just getting worse. This is one of the reasons doing this alone sucks!
I am having quite a hard time with D. She's just so defiant with me. No matter what I request, she's got to have an attitude about it. She's only 7 for goodness sake! She's fine around H though. He saw her yesterday since he can't make it Thursday and was completely fine while he hung out for a few minutes after bringing her home (we were only outside). As soon as he left, she's slamming doors, back talking, etc. Has anyone else dealt with this? How do I change it around? I don't believe in spanking a child at all. I did it the other day though and it only made both of us feel worse. So I'm not doing that again. Is she like this only because of H being gone so long? Does she need closure? Is this too confusing for her? I don't know and any advice would be appreciated.
She's like this because there are no consequences. You feel guilty for this sitch and you're letting her walk over you. Spanking isn't necessary but neither is putting up with disrespect. Get a handle on it now or regret it 100 times over later. Counseling alone isn't going to fix this issue although it can help her deal better with your situation. You will have to do the rest, Dar. It's called guidance and discipline. Do not cave in to her. That's what's wrong with most kids today. The parents have no backbone.
I'm not sure if she knows what it really means to kill herself. I'm sure she can put 2 & 2 together knowing what killing someone is. Like I said, she said it in aggrevation, but I'm not taking it lightly either.
