Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Changing myself for myself

JTB, hi)

for me it is more about stopping myself from being too friendly, too involved. and when i am distant to take away the suffering look from my face that i had yesterday, well it was the 1st day - i think i am better now. i wrote here yesterday, and already today, as well as read forums a lot - saturated myself w/it

and then there is care, help, support from you JTB, Bworl, Jeff, breaton, Purr, BND, IMP others. grateful for that, thank you))))))))

JTB, you asked me a good question on what i want to gain. i want to do the right thing. there is two parts to it - let h go as Bworl said and to change myself. and i think that i have a better grasp how to change myself in a relationship than in my job/career life but without the latter i will not be happy. so actually it my biggest challenge right now.

actually, i have another conversation to ponder about the relationship that i am so tempted to get involved in, but it is not a priority right now and can be put on back burner

(((Firekeeper))) Thanks for your post to me.

I am curious if your name came from a series of books I read or if you made it up yourself?

you are welcome))))))))))

i took my name from native american stories about the time when Peacemaker came to Haudenoshonee people. he created the first confederacy on American soil. the leader of one of the tribes was resistant to enter the unity. after endless shuttle diplomacy he agreed only when he was made the head and his tribe became the Fire keepers.

what books are you referring to?

Jane Lindskold has a series where the main character is called Firekeeper. She was raised by wolves. The first one is called "Through Wolf's Eyes". The second, "Wolf's Head, Wolf's Heart". I read the third, but didn't read the ones after that. I loved the first two.

Are you part Native American or do you just love the stories?

i haven't read real books that are not self-help for a long-long time)))))))

i am not Native American but i have some blood of indigenous people in a fiery mixture of many others ethnicities that run through my veins; english is not my first language and i came to america less than 20 years ago

It sounds like you have a story to tell!

Is your H American? Is the culture difference perhaps part of the problem? Just thinking, I really need to catch up on all of your posts, so I know what I'm talking about!

I was getting bad about NOT reading real books. I have been better about that lately. I need a break from all the craziness and escaping with a good book is about the best way I know how other than exercising or hanging out with friends.

I'm part Iroquois, but the rest of me is boringly Western European lol.

why would you call yourself Iroquois - i think it is something like "man eaters" in translation, if i am not mistaken(?). i am living in a land of your people) i have a good friend who is also Hodenoshonee. her family hosted us for almost all thanksgivings since the time we came to the states till several years ago. very good heart.

"Is your H American? "
nah, he is from the same country

you know jeff, thank you for the wish to catch up, but your doing yoga seems to be a bigger priority now

Michelle, when i read a real book i feel like a kid again, when you can't put the book down because you all into it