on a side note, has anyone tried any other techniques or read any other books ?
I signed up for a few newsletters for various things and get e-mails galore. Now i've done this before for other interests but you can usually find someone that knows about it and the general consensous is there all rubbish, so these are probably the same. However, seems silly of me not to ask if there is one that lots of people say, 'na, that's excellant' as they aren't expensive.
(I'll probably get completely flamed for this and called a gullible fool, but hey, worth asking if there is something out there that will work !!!)
I agree with R2C, she wants out, you stay put, let her leave and see how life is without you. I made the mistake of moving out and am paying for it for doing so. DO NOT LEAVE.
The best of the R books for me besides DB and DR is "Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men" by Wayne Levine and "For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women" by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn
Ty peeps. my intuition was to stay put, just glad you all agree. Think the line about the one who wants out should get out is fair enough too, but I'm not at that junction yet.
I've read venus/mars and can totally associate with it. Beginning to think that where I'm at is that W thinks it's to late and therefore I reallly need to be super me and keep up with the changes I'm making for me. If you don't love yourself (and I had started to dislike myself in all honesty) how can anyone else love ya. (Mums and dads excused !!!).
Another pleasent evening, not much said, but W did not go out as she does most Mondays. Also a pleasent morning and we both slept well as kids didn't stir at all and my W has always been one that needs sleep.
We did discuss some plans for schoo holidays though so don't think my W is in a rush to move on, but that is the confusing bit. We will see and I need to just remain patient, keep working on me and things will take car of themselves.
Thanks for book recommendation. I was also refering to the e-mail mailers I get that you come accross when googling variations of save my marriage, seperation etc etc. Anyone ever paid for one of those e-books ?
another pleasent evening. W in bit of state when I got picked uo from work as oldest ill and youngest handful. I just listened to her grumbles, some about my mum (which I hate) but I said nothing. Did have little chuckle to myself at one point as it was so ridiculous the state she was working herself into !!!
Hope I can continue to feel like this as seem like I'm getting in control.
another pleasent evening. W in bit of state when I got picked uo from work as oldest ill and youngest handful. I just listened to her grumbles, some about my mum (which I hate) but I said nothing. Did have little chuckle to myself at one point as it was so ridiculous the state she was working herself into !!!
Hope I can continue to feel like this as seem like I'm getting in control.
Your doing good Arthur. Stay in that house man. Hope you showed some empathy while she was grumbling.
Little bit of empathy yes, but the constant snapping drives me mad. I took the little one out for an hour after dinner so my W had a bit of time and space to herself as youngest upstairs playing as bit ill.
W snapped again this morning and I asked her to stop politely as she was always snapping to which her response (in front of the kids was) 'It's because I live with you'. She has said this before, this is her way of trying to regain control when she is in the wrong I guess ???
I asked her to show a bit more respect and use please and thank you. She was even trying to tell me how to ask my mum to have my son today, then even listened in when I made the call.
I'm noting all this and not going to even mention it, though it may come out at C when that starts. What would others do in this sitch ?
It's funny as her answer to all this seems to be me move out, but then she'd have next to know support which is what she always moans about !!!!
Didn't notice when posting the above, but had a text from my W. Basically accusing me of not wanting to take time off work to spend with boys for me and making out it's a favour for her and reiterating that were over and I need to build a relationship with them. To me, it's just twisting the fact, but I responded
I'm sorry it seems that way. I want to take time off to spend with the boys, but was trying to discuss with you how I did it to try and avoid you having 4 full weeks with the two of them on your own.
I did start to type about her outburst in front of them (see above) but bit my tongue. Did I handle that well ? Should I address the outburst when speaking to her ?
That is the first time she has text me in a while at all and got the old grey matter working OT !!!
