yeah, my H is back but he really hasnt seen the red cow for what she is....i think because he is only 1/2 way thru his journey. realizes he needs and wants to be here for his life but cant accept he fell for a needy self absorbed 25 yr old looking for a meal ticket. until he sees that R was a huge mistake, he wont be all the way home.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Me and my son are very close. He decided to move in with my ex about 5 months ago mainly because he is worried that eventually he will try to kill himself. I see my son though all the time. He drives and is always over at my house. I am o.k.
My ex LOVES that the OW is financially dependent on him. He told me so himself. I wonder if he still does since he is maxed out on credit card debt.
Tomorrow ex stops over to drop the baby off. I have not seen ex for two weeks.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
My ex LOVES that the OW is financially dependent on him
My H never talks about his OW (mainly b/c I won't allow it) so I don't know whether this is how he feels. HOWEVER his actions show that he does. We always muddled through financially mainly b/c I decided to be a SAHM for 11 years. He support me in that. However as soon as the youngest was old enough to go to school the pressure for me to go back to work started from him. IMO that's when our problems started. I wanted to go to uni full time and he wanted me to get a job. Guess who won? Now it's like he's making amends for those 'mistakes' but with the wrong woman. When he and OW first got together seriously she didn't work for 12 months. Meanwhile I doubled my hours. Even the job she has now is only temporary. He is paying for her to study an open university course at a cost of �7k over 6 years. I am now doing a part time uni course but only b/c I got sponsorship (and it's not the course I really want to do b/c i can only do that full time). All this whilst refusing to contribute to D12s holiday with school etc.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
My son is seeing through to what OW really is. She is nothing like me. She has no class. Your son will see that also. She is everything my son does not respect. She is slime.
My son has only met OW once, H told my H she looks like a guy and is fake. (He is only 11 and not developed tact yet!!) He hasn't met her again and H doesn't even say her name around either son or myself.
I think he is embarrassed.
Kids are very perceptive.
Nutty
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
Thanks guys for posting. I really needed to hear from you.
Ex came over yesterday to drop the baby off. He looked HORRIBLE and very sullen. He also looks like he is losing some of his hair.
He reminded me of a sprinter. He could not leave fast enough again while dropping baby off. He is full of so much shame and guilt it almost made me cry. He barely could say "Hi" to me.
He is much nicer to me though than ever. He is the most humble I have ever seen him. Not that it really matters, but he is most definitely in the withdrawal/depression stage. Anger/blaming has left and I think he is facing the EXTREME damage that he has done.
I can't imagine looking at all that he has done.
The lives he has affected in a negative way.
I wonder if he will ever talk to me about it.........
Luv to all of you. I have so much respect for each and every one of you. Keep on with this journey and fight the good fight of faith. God is with you....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I wonder if they will ever admit to any of the wrong doings.
I wonder if they understand just how this has affected us/our children/our familes?
I wonder if they even wonder if they did the right things or not?
I'm starting to let go of my wonderings. They serve no purpose, except to keep the mind chatter going
Now I'm wondering what I can do to ease up on the stress reltated munchies The obvious answer is get rid of the stress. Notice I didn't say exercise my stress away
Its tough Trusting I know it is.
And they do not make it easy on us.
HUGS!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
He hasn't met her again and H doesn't even say her name around either son or myself. 
The obvious answer is get rid of the stress. Notice I didn't say exercise my stress away 