Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done others thoughts

Whodat, the problem with that is, how long do you think they will last? I know its of no concern to you, but if she is that unhappy, why would she marry this person? People who take off and get a divorce and seek happiness with another person will do ANYTHING to make people think they have made the right choice, even if its getting re-married to someone they know won't work. I have a friend of mine that I work with who is in a similar situation, from the female perspective. She was always heavy, she had the surgery, lost a lot of weight, decided she was unhappy, got a divorce, ran around and partied, met this guy who is a real ass, has been living with him for 3 years, he isn't even divorced yet. They fight like cats and dogs all the time, she looks like crap, takes anti-depressant medicine and will still swear up and down that its better than when she was married! LOL I told her that she would do anything to make people think she didn't make a mistake. She kinda looked at me and said "I hate to be wrong" Stupid, very stupid.

braveheart,

I would rather EVERYONE know I made a mistake than be unhappy for the rest of my life... Call me crazy....

NMD

You are in the minority, based upon my experiences.

braveheart thanks for the insight and you might very well be right.I think she misses our daughter more then anything when she doent have her,but thats the bed she laid in.My problem is this anger and hurt that I have, I have a very hard time being civil with her so in retrospect I know I am hurting the cause more then helping it.I dont know I just wish I could wake up one day and it be easier.By the way the man she left me for is a police officer and I'm pretty sure he is good to her but he works a crappy shift so they dont spend a whole lot of time together.And one of the complaints about me was I was never home,what a joke.

Listen, these people who walk off are so full of B.S. it isn't even funny. They will make up every stupid excuse in the world as to why they left, why it can't work etc. Bottom line is they all think the grass is greener, once they find out it isn't, they will usually settle in a worse relationship they walked out of. Just MO.

I've sometimes wondered if it's so much the WAS, as it is his/her family, especially if they enabled him/her to walk away from the marriage.

That happened in my circumstance. My xMIL took in xh with opened arms and prodded him on to a divorce since he was so unhappy (in a marriage that had lasted 30 years, no less). He lived with her for over a year, and he didn't file for D until he'd gotten himself a live-in OW. So basically he moved from me, to his mother, to OW..without ever living on his own. Seems to me that what other people think matters more to him than to what he actually thinks/feels. So, if he did feel he might have made a mistake, would he allow himself to be put in the position of defending his decision to try again to the same people that he convinced easily that our marriage was never any good.

As a tidbit...xh has now told one of our sons, that he wants OW out of his apartment. So maybe he has started realize he needs to be on his own to be healthy, and not using anyone as a crutch. I hope so anyway, because he's been a weak person through all of this, and needs to gain some self-strength if he ever wants to be truly happy in his life.

I care what people may think of me, but I don't live my life to try to please them. I did live that way with H our entire marriage, and that was a mistake. It's okay to care, but it's not okay to live your life in fear of disappointing the one that's suppose to live you unconditionally.