Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy day by day

SueS,

Maybe those are reflections of himself and how he feels.

Just what they say it is not written in stone and I hope you didn't take it seriously as it wasn't meant that way.
Just wanted to lighten the day.

have a good one.

JAK

Hi lwb,

Just dropping by to say hi. Hope everything is going okay.

Hi lwb,

Haven't been on too much lately.. work is nuts..

Thinking about you and im really glad that the in laws are being supportive. Your a great mom, never forget that.

H is on a different planet then you..

(((hugs)))

My insane H wanted sex today.

Yes.

Did he get it? No.

Was he mad about it? Briefly but I think he is over it.

He has no clue where my head/heart is. None. He continues on his path of "We will always be close...", while I am trying to avoid the mere sight of him to lessen my pain!

UGH, guys out there? Did I do the right thing? Will he respect me more that I drew this line? We went back and forth with ML when OW was not in the picture, but I refuse to be with him when he is out there leading a single life.

Sigh, oh I miss him though.

Oh man, lwb..

What would the reaction have been if he wanted to make love?

I'm clueless about the sex during separation since even bad sex is good for the body and calms folks down. How much does reopening yourself to him physically reactivate the muscle memory of the closeness you shared for him, for you? Or are you just a convenient vessel for his sperm?

I was told, if you don't know the answer, waffle around it, the answer is no.

You go, ms lwb!

*hugs*

I think you made the right decision. It also depends on what might have been discussed. Did you tell him why it wasn't going to happen?
Also, a comment on the "A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts." I don't really believe it. I think the words that come out are clouded. Being clouded doesn't make them the truth of how they really fell. Like my WW being "clouded". She thinks it is real, but it actually isn't. But, thats just me.

lwb,

Nothing suprises me anymore... you did the right thing.Most women, (not saying all) but most always have an emotional connection during ml, its just not physical.

I would have done the same thing. Men don't look at Sex the same way as women do. At least I don't

He is a very confused soul, or just someone who thinks they can have there cake and eat it to. Im glad you were strong enough to hold back,

I know you miss him lwb.. but if you were to be with him intimately, I think it would have set you back for more hurt.

Im sorry.

((((hugs)))

Thanks guys. ML did not happen. But boy oh boy, why does he have to be so cute? It doesn't feel right, it wouldn't feel right, and jak you are totally correct. As far as I know, it would mean more to me than him. Gypsy, opening myself up at this point will cause me pain. Detaching is my means of survival at this point in time.

Since our "its not happening" talk, we have been comfortable around each other. I did tell him there is nothing wrong with us being more 'friendly' with each other (we are both very dark, talk only of the kids/schedules), but I will not initiate much at all.

I believe his family is hounding him, calling him, etc. I have no idea if he is talking with anyone. I think not.

Puppy (if you are reading..), I shot a truth dart at H the other day. He gave me trouble for receiving a text (hi SallyM!!!) and is sure I am practically engaged. I told him "Unlike your texts, the texts I send and receive are morally correct."

I will always and forever hate cell phones. Major trigger. In my mind, anyone that is on a cell phone is having an affair. lol

lwb-

A guys position on the whole ML thing. First, I hate that term. You can't make love. You can be in love and have sex to express feelings or show love, or you can have sex... but you can't make love. He wanted sex. He wanted the physical feelings associated with sex. For guys, the act is physical. It is more about the 2 1/2 hours of pure pleasure (lol) and less about the emotional connection.

I don't have vast knowledge of a women's feeling on the subject (more like half vast) but I am willing to say that if you did it to re-connect with him, it wouldn't work. Bottom line is, you did the right thing.