can you give me some tactics?? quick!! I was just telling him i don't want ow near our daughter, blah, blah!! how can I turn this around -- he'll be here until at least 7pm!!
can you give me some tactics?? quick!! I was just telling him i don't want ow near our daughter, blah, blah!! how can I turn this around -- he'll be here until at least 7pm!!
I would leave house if you are not in the right state of mind to DB.
Tell him "I don't want to talk to you right now". Change your communication style. Use email or text messaging. Run them past us before sending them....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
omg, I just got a letter from my dad -- just now! He enclosed the money for my lawyer and a letter (he never writes letters!). In it, he wanted me to tell h that he loves him and that if he would work on the marriage, ie counseling, etc, that he'll pay for it. (my dad and h have been close over the years). I just told h, and he said, "but it's not going to change anything". (he's having an affair and doesn't "love" me, remember?). I feel like my heart is about to burst.
W, I understand your desire to keep this process moving forward as quickly as possible. I also understand that you feel multiple counseling sessions would be a waste of money and time. I have identified a counselor willing to do one session with us. I need to do this to move forward. Regardless of the future, I am real certain that I never want to be in this situation again. I need to learn from this experience. The session will include co-parenting dialog to assure the least negative effects on S9,S7, and D5. The session will need to be during the day (M-F). I just need to supply them several different dates that work for us so they can fit us in their schedule.
Thank you for understanding
H
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
ok guys, I made it through the "first visitation". I did some backsliding, but after db'd. parent/teacher thing went very well and when we came back home h played, bathed and fed daughter and I left them alone to have their time. no R talks rest of day. When he was leaving, I smiled and wished him a good drive back.
it's breaking my heart that he can't see the life he is leaving and that this is our home. he's so caught up in his "thing" that he's like someone I don't know right now. all i can do is accept and db, right?
seeing him just opens the wound and i actually think being separated (which I fought for 2 months after bomb) is actually the best thing for ME right now. it's easier NOT to see him and i actually have been really good about NOT calling him/emailing him, etc. it's funny, yesterday, I didn't even have the DESIRE to talk to him.
but he was doing laundry here at home today and was walking around in his boxers. it killed me. I didn't say anything, but it was so "how it used to be" and a part of me wanted to grab him like I would have. now i can't. someone else has that privelegde. i'm not crying, i just can't believe we got to this place so fast!! 3 months ago I had a husband that I thought was solid and would NEVER leave his family. it's stunning.
i'll see him tomorrow when he picks up d. i'll try to db as best as i can, but it is SO f'ing hard!! I'm angry and sad and everything at the same time. I want to punch him out and call him every name in the book, but what I really want is for him to just hold me and tell me he loves me. I guess he is not in that place and I can't force that.
Mary - when you say you're "db'ing" and "not db'ing" when he's there, what do you mean?
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
