Sounds like you are doing so well. I read your string for inspiration all time.
Congrats on finding out it will be a girl!!! Our first was a girl as well - what a delight!!!
I am so impressed with your 180's - not coming as easy for me, but you are about 3 months ahead of me, and I remember a lot of your earlier posts - so I have faith.
I forgot one other thing 007 has - a license to kill... hmmm, how about a license to kick the tar out of somebody! :-)
Take care Steve,
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
Personally..........I still take Rhett Butler over James Bond any day! (lol)
Well....a girl! I just had a feeling, and I could just see you with a baby girl. You are so sensitive for a little girl's daddy.
OM2 bought some baby clothes. W didn't want to show me as she thought it would upset me. I think I handled it well. W knows that it is one thing for OM to be inappropriately interested in her, but it is worse for OM to be inappropiately interested in my baby. W admits that it might be a bit too much.
Man, that ticked me off! He has some nerve, doesn't he? I am surprised that she even let you know about it, but since she did, I hope that means you are winning her across believing you to be the better man than the other two. You are remarkable in how you controlled yourself. Most men would have went bizerk.
Saffie brought up something that made me think of this when she was talking about how you would be there to support your W during the pregnancy, etc. The closer the time to delivery comes, the more she will need your support. And....when time for the actual birth of the baby....it will be you there to hold her hand and to coach her (is she going to birthing classes? You too?) Anyway, it is the H and W that will be in the delivery room when the baby is born......not the W and OM! That is such a special moment for the two of you to share seeing and holding that tiny baby girl for the first time. There will be a special bond there stronger than ever.
In the meantime.......as that belly gets bigger and she may start to spread wider as well as grow out front (lol), she may get to feeling ugly and so forth (a lot of women do), so just keep telling her how beautiful she is to you. You are the one to take care of her through the sickness. You are the one to massage her. When that bump gets really big and tight, she will want you to rub her belly with that lotion that prevent the skin from breaking and scaring so much. It makes the mommy feel better too. So, while you are doing that, you can talk in soft tones to the baby. Mommy will like that too. So, you have all the advantages right now, sweetie. You are the one home with her every night. The OM is out of there, he just doesn't know it yet. You are doing such a good job and are going to continue to do a great job (whether it's James or Rhett)until OM 1 or 2 won't stand a chance against you. After the Mommy and baby go home from the hospital, you will have even more of an opportunity to wait on your W and help with the baby, giving your W time to rest and recuperate over giving birth. I want to give one piece of warning here.....if you see anything that doesn't seem normal...for an example, if your W doesn't seem to appear to be as happy as a new mommy should be after having her first baby.....she needs to see her doctor about postpartum depression. It is very common and can be serious....and can last a long time with some. So, just watch for that, b/c we don't want her depressed and turning back to the OM after all that!!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Personally..........I still take Rhett Butler over James Bond any day! (lol)
Well....a girl! I just had a feeling, and I could just see you with a baby girl. You are so sensitive for a little girl's daddy.
Quote-"OM2 bought some baby clothes. W didn't want to show me as she thought it would upset me. I think I handled it well. W knows that it is one thing for OM to be inappropriately interested in her, but it is worse for OM to be inappropiately interested in my baby. W admits that it might be a bit too much."
Man, that ticked me off! He has some nerve, doesn't he? I am surprised that she even let you know about it, but since she did, I hope that means you are winning her across believing you to be the better man than the other two. You are remarkable in how you controlled yourself. Most men would have went bizerk.
Saffie brought up something that made me think of this when she was talking about how you would be there to support your W during the pregnancy, etc. The closer the time to delivery comes, the more she will need your support. And....when time for the actual birth of the baby....it will be you there to hold her hand and to coach her (is she going to birthing classes? You too?) Anyway, it is the H and W that will be in the delivery room when the baby is born......not the W and OM! That is such a special moment for the two of you to share seeing and holding that tiny baby girl for the first time. There will be a special bond there stronger than ever.
In the meantime.......as that belly gets bigger and she may start to spread wider as well as grow out front (lol), she may get to feeling ugly and so forth (a lot of women do), so just keep telling her how beautiful she is to you. You are the one to take care of her through the sickness. You are the one to massage her. When that bump gets really big and tight, she will want you to rub her belly with that lotion that prevent the skin from breaking and scaring so much. It makes the mommy feel better too. So, while you are doing that, you can talk in soft tones to the baby. Mommy will like that too. So, you have all the advantages right now, sweetie. You are the one home with her every night. The OM is out of there, he just doesn't know it yet. You are doing such a good job and are going to continue to do a great job (whether it's James or Rhett)until OM 1 or 2 won't stand a chance against you. After the Mommy and baby go home from the hospital, you will have even more of an opportunity to wait on your W and help with the baby, giving your W time to rest and recuperate over giving birth. I want to give one piece of warning here.....if you see anything that doesn't seem normal...for an example, if your W doesn't seem to appear to be as happy as a new mommy should be after having her first baby.....she needs to see her doctor about postpartum depression. It is very common and can be serious....and can last a long time with some. So, just watch for that, b/c we don't want her depressed and turning back to the OM after all that!!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Just a couple of observations.......if I am not too late on the first one.....
I know you know it is a girl but if you can don't tell people around you IRL. It's all the more exciting for them not knowing what the baby is going to be - trust me....i've been there - they are always pleased when you have a healthy baby but just a bit of the excitement has gone if they know the sex.
Secondly, I cannot recommend highly enough that you go to National Childbirth Trust antenatal classes. Now is the time to sign up. They are who I used to teach for. Don't get confused and think they are Natural childbirth - they do believe in the use of pain reliefif it's required/ wanted. They give you all the details so that you can make informed choices throughout the rest of the pregnancy and also through the delivery and after. You will meet other couples in the same circumstances, (they are couples groups), and you will make long lasting friends. It will be a way of bringing your W back into viewing you two as a couple - you will be interacting with other couples, and the focus will be on you as a family once the baby is born. It will be a subtle way of ousting the OM and his attentions. Your W will be able to meet up with the girls for cofee etc once she is on maternity leave both before and after the birth. The friends I made through my classes were life savers for me. The guys in lots of the groups also formed quite close friendships - my H still goes down to the pub on the last Thursady of every month and meets up with the dads we met through the group I went to when pregnant with my first baby, (and that baby is about to turn 17 in July).
I know you have to pay for these classes but they are WAY better than those offered by the NHS.
If you want more details look up the National Childbirth Trust(NCT) in your local phone directory.
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It just struck me this morning that this would be an excellent way of strengthening the bond with your W and your baby in a way that the OM wouldn't be able to, and all the other couples in your group wouldn't know any of the history behind the pregnancy and so it would be like a clean slate, and somewhere where you and your W can be excited about it all together.
Last edited by sgctxok; 04/26/0801:38 PM.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
