Hi guys...rollercoaster Jen just stopped and I'm getting off for good. My emotions have been taking me for a ride for 2 weeks now. Rollercoasters make me nausaus
I'm not going to do anything now or ever about this woman. Basically F*** her she's isn't worth my time effort or energy.
All I know that I'm pushing H away by rehashing what happened. I'll drop it and in return I'll actually have some peace of mind. By talking about it to H I'm actually bringing a ghost into our R.
I need to believe, forgive and trust him. Without that what do we have?
Jen
PS I didn't write the poem
Last edited by JenInVen; 04/23/0807:54 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Jen, I was going to tell you NOT to email her. I think I only did because I didn't stop to not do it and since it happened the morning after I found out it was OK. It wasn't rehashing anything, it didn't show that I didn't trust him because I said I was going to do it immediately when I found out.
Good job getting off the rollercoaster.
quack quack
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
I think if I had back then H would have been furious. I keep rehashing it with H. In the past I've had issues with trust and right now a 180 for me is to show trust and eventually feel trust.
To email her now would maybe make her think about what happened and it might have the opposite effect of what I'd want.
Quack quack!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Jen, It's really not worth it to contact her. Your H WILL be furious with you and it will set you much further back in your goals. Whatever she tells you will not be the full truth. Contacting her may in fact push H in the opposite direction of what you want. You cannot control his actions anyhow. Concentrate on your own actions. You will be the better person and H may slowly start to notice it.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Yes I know better than contacting her. I'm feeling much better this afternoon. I'll forget about it and forgive him. That'll show I'm more mature than he thinks. I need to move past what happened for me.
Thanks for all the support!
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
D didn't have school today so the 3 of us went to get my new cel phone at the mall. Was a rainy day but didn't want that to stop us from spending some time together. Got my phone, chatted a bit, ate lunch, played with D.
he'll be here a little later this evening to do his laundry before their trip. I hope we can be good to each other tonight.
I've given him the benefit of the doubt and I hope he's being honest with me. He told me he has no negative opinions of me so I guess thats good right.
Later then,
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
He didn't have time to come by tonight... When it rains in Caracas the drivers get stupid which leads to a ton of traffic. H had 2 classes right after the other but got stuck in traffic and arrived late to each of them. He had to trail one of his students home because she broke her hand last week and with this weather was having difficulty driving.
He'll be over tomorrow to wash his clothes.
D is getting a cold and only 2 days before they go to Orlando/Miami!! Hope she fights it like she usually does.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
That's a bummer about your D. Lots of rest and water.
Stay calm tomorrow and rise above. qq (stands for quack quack, we can both keep each other in line here!)
do you think it's time for us to update and revise our goals?
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
she's isn't worth my time effort or energy.