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I'm glad he called you for a change. If it was a huge shock to you, must be more than a baby step!

I hope he doesn't ditch you for the hockey game. Make sure he knows the sitter is all lined up so that he doesn't get the idea in your head. I would briefly mention how you're looking forward to it, too. Don't give him a chance to back out.

H and I went to dinner and the hockey game last night. Had a really great time. It's so weird to be "dating" my H. H had to work all day so he was tired but he went anyway thanked me for a good time, the suggestion and planning. Didnt stay at the house after we got back, left to go to bed. I tried to get him to stay the night with me (S1 was at grandma's for the night) I just wanted to be held i'm so tired of sleeping alone every night for the last 4 months but he wouldnt do it, says he is not ready.

I'm getting so lonenly and the more time we spend together the worse it gets. I almost dread him coming over anymore because I hate it so much when he leaves. WHY cant I just be happy for the time we are spending together? Things are going really well but it just dosent seem to be enough for me anymore. I feel so selfish! He gives a little and I want a ton more. I know this will take time I just hate seeing him twice a week, always having to say good bye......I should be greatful I guess i'm just scared. I know he's not 100% commited yet, I want him back, it's been months. I'm so tired of pretneding, having a Part-time H, being alone, feeling so alone and the list goes on. What is wrong with me??????

HM,
I don't have much time to post to you. Was off to bed. Didn't sleep well last night and I know if I don't hit the sack, I won't be worth 2 cents tomorrow at work

I'm SO glad you had a good time at dinner and the game. I'm sorry he didn't stay, but maybe he does need more time (at least he thinks he does).

Joie

There's nothing wrong with you.. My H and I haven't truly been together since August. Except for the one night in February where he says I "forced" him to have sex.So I know how you feel..Plus he works nights and I almost always sleep alone. I hope to one day Make love to him again and feel that he truly does love me but for now I don't see that happening. I Pray you get what you want soon, and me too!!

Nothing new really for me today. Having a really down day, think I have just had too much time to think and reflect on all the crap that has happened in these past few months. H did come over on sunday at 5:00. At first I was upset, I had called and asked if he could come ealier as I was sick, felt horrible and wanted some help with S19mo. H sent a text that he would be here around 5. I tried to be happy when he got here, and in fact he took our son to town so I could take a nap and that was exactly what I needed; SLEEP!!!!!!

Talked to H briefly yesterday and not at all today. Said he plans on coming over this weekend to put up our son's new playset he got last year (was too little then) I really hope he does as it will be nice to use.

Talked with a friend of my MIL's tonight who has been thru this crap before. She was very encouraging, telling me to keep fighting and gave some great advice. Also told me about a support group here in my town. It was really nice and uplifting to speak with her but at the same time i feel really down. Just dragging up the past has made me very emotional tonight and put me in a bad mood!!!! she suggested very little contact to none at all with my H until OW is completley out of the picture. However I have tried that and it didnt seem to work for us. Now that I have been more affectionate and open with H, he seems to be changing alot more. At least I have noticed several changes in his attitude and actions. I hope he really is changing and he's not "cake eating" Anyone have an opinion as to if I should be speaking with H or not???

HM,
((( HUGS ))) to you. I'm not having a great night either... so I can relate to the depression.

You said before that less contact with him didn't seem to work but being more open and affectionate did seem to. I'd keep on doing it, at least for now. If you get to the point where you need a LRT, then maybe go dark on him, again. But for now, keep on letting him see the YOU he will lose if you don't R.

More (((( HUGS )))) !!!

Joie

Joie thanks for the response. I think H and I are heading in the right directions i'm just very scared to trust in him and then by me not asking any questions it makes it even harder. I dont know where he is at with breaking things off with OW and I want to know very badly but I imagine when it's over he will tell me.

Kept myself busy today as to try and stop thinking about all this. Took S19months to park and H came over this am for a short visit. My MIL friend gave me a couple of new books to read so I am off to try them out

So I have been really depressed the last few days and more frustrated and I cant even put my finger on why. Recently I just have this feeling that my H is lying to me and is still very involved with OW. Nothing has changed, I have no proof, and things have been actually pretty good but something tells my "gut" I am being naive. Could I just be paranoid or is there something to this? The only thing I know (because I take care of the checkbook and financial stuff) is there have been a few bills at different restaurants for $40-50 clearly more than it cost for one person. I really want to ask my H if he has been with her recently but I konw the book tells us not to ask questions. That is just so hard for me!!! For the most part I am good about that BUT I dont want to be made a fool of or think he is doing one thing when he is not. This crap is all so hard...trying to figure out how to be around him and how to make myself happy regardless of him when we have to have contact because of our son. ughhhhh

Hurtmom, I feel for you..I too feel liek maybe I'm beinglied to again yet I'm not sure..I've been lied to so many times in the last few months that I no longer know what to believe. Just pay attention to the signs, you'll know..we always do even if it takes a little while longer than we'd like it to.

Hurtmom,
Don't fret yourself into the ground about the dinner bills. You don't know what they were for or who he ate with. Could it have been something for work? A friend? Other family members?

You can't control him. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. Check out the advice on the Wise Advice forum. There aren't a lot of posts but the few that are there are like mini-DB refreshers. Or, get the book out and review. It helps keep you focused. On the other hand, only you know how long you can keep doing this. Are you ready to throw in the towel or are you having a bad day? What do you want to do?

Joie