I had lunch with a great friend of mine today. He and his wife tell me they think I'm the total package - smart, sweet, fun and attractive and can't imagine why my H would be doing this. I've known them since I was 19 so they know me well. I would like to believe what they say - they're both intelligent and wonderful. My friend asked how things were and I explained my H's lack of communication and silence. He wondered how I could tolerate living like this. The truth is, I can't tolerate it much longer.
I'm hoping to have a conversation with H on Sunday. I'm thinking I need to clear the air about the assumptions he's making about me. The longer the silence continues, the harder my heart becomes. This week I have felt hatred for my H. Not good.
Believe your friends, you are wonderful! I've realized that it's not about me or any weaknesses in myself or about you, but your H is going through something, an MLC or depression or whatever.
What assumptions is your H making about you? Are you being silent as well as your H? My H went through a silent and angry stage and I continued to be friendly with him and would chat briefly & try to leave the room first kind of thing.
The last few weeks now my H seems like he is thawing a bit, is friendlier to me when he is talking & emailing and been seeing the kids a lot too. I just don't know if a conversation or talk with an H when he is like that (if he is being silent & angry or whatever) will bring him out of it or accomplish anything unless it will make you feel better. I think our Hs are responsible for their own behaviors, and they have to work on themselves and their issues and their confusion, etc. I think this is different though than if they show disrespect or yell; I am standing up to my H in those cases now. Karen
Personal responsibility is key. You can only control you and they have to deal with them.
GFI, I hope things are getting better for you. Keep GAL and the good stuff that seems to be working for you.
Just wanted to stop in and say "HI", from one Bako chick to another. Have a great day.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I've realized that it's not about me or any weaknesses in myself or about you, but your H is going through something, an MLC or depression or whatever.