You have went from negative to positive in a couple of weeks. You are doing great. Slow and Steady. Have lots of patience. You are doing an awesome job and you are staying calm in a very trying, difficult situation. Keep up the good work man. You are turning this around by continuing the changes that you have made.
I'm praying hard for you brother and your W and Sons also.
That was a very good sign that your W included you on the trip..even though your sons got so excited and left you out...your W was thinking of you..She also jumped in and corrected your S when he tried to make you think it was her fault....VERY GOOD SIGN.
Ping---the best advice I can give you is this---sometimes when you're fishing and you hook a big one and you attempt to horse that big fish in-the line breaks, the hook gets pulled out, or something bad happens and you lose that big fish. You have her hooked---do not horse her in. Play that big fish nice and easy and get her in the net. Take your time.
Ping....if there is any one thing you can get out of the craziness of all of this....what you have said above, is it. Awesome job my friend. In the end, it is about you finding peace, continment, and happiness within yourself. As our S's see this, we hope and pray they will like what they see...if not, what matters is we are happy with ourselves.
What a great takeaway message; good stuff Ping!!
take care, Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Ping---the best advice I can give you is this---sometimes when you're fishing and you hook a big one and you attempt to horse that big fish in-the line breaks, the hook gets pulled out, or something bad happens and you lose that big fish. You have her hooked---do not horse her in. Play that big fish nice and easy and get her in the net. Take your time.
I like your analogy on this Mike. I wish I knew this a 6 weeks ago when I first moved to the rental house I'm in, things started out so great with us but I had to ruin it because I got my hopes up to much. Believe me, I will learn from that experience and your fishing analogy is right on target with what needs to be done.
[quote=ping1] if anything else, it is making me feel better.
What a great takeaway message; good stuff Ping!!
take care, Christa
Thanks Christa, I really am feeling better about things right now, I think it's because I have set my mind that I am not going to push the issue anymore. I have received so much good advice on this site that I feel is going to help me with this.
GL has pointed out some things to me that I really had to take a hard long look at and determine if I wanted to save my M then I needed to make other changes that I did not see. I agree with you, hopefully as we become more confident and happier with ourselves, then our spouses will see this and want to be with us. Only time will tell I guess.
You are sounding really good!!! Keep up the positive attitude!
W2G
Thanks W2G, I am feeling better. I have realized that my down times come from setting expectations that are not going to happen right now so no need in keep beating myself up by bringing up R talks. I hope that I can stay in this mind set as I am right now. It really does get your mind off of things. I have to see the positives and go off of those.
Some positives I see are: Neither of us have pushed for filing. We have yet to put the house on the market. We have yet to split any assets we have. We can talk and get along. We sit beside eachother at ball games and talk at S's ball games.
Of course the financials and house are a two sided sword, I am still making the payment on the house so she really doesn't have any reason to push to buy me out or to sell at this time. I guess I will find out soon enough if she is doing this for her own good or if she is hoping that I will change and stick to those changes so we can salvage our M. Time will tell.
You are sounding really good!!! Keep up the positive attitude!
W2G
Thanks W2G, I am feeling better. I have realized that my down times come from setting expectations that are not going to happen right now so no need in keep beating myself up by bringing up R talks. I hope that I can stay in this mind set as I am right now. It really does get your mind off of things. I have to see the positives and go off of those.
Some positives I see are: Neither of us have pushed for filing. We have yet to put the house on the market. We have yet to split any assets we have. We can talk and get along. We sit beside eachother at ball games and talk at S's ball games.
Of course the financials and house are a two sided sword, I am still making the payment on the house so she really doesn't have any reason to push to buy me out or to sell at this time. I guess I will find out soon enough if she is doing this for her own good or if she is hoping that I will change and stick to those changes so we can salvage our M. Time will tell.
Ping, I am proud of you. You have made big strides in a short time. Don't follow my examples...DO NOT BACKSLIDE.
