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Cat I find it very interesting that your H 'thinks' he will loose his job if he goes on medication that he needs. What does he think will happen if his employers find out he sleeps with women who are tantamount to a prostitute?

his captain did find out! not all the truth, but he got chewed out good , bet it was very embarrasing. As it is he's already not doing well at work, all his demons are kicking him now and he's a nervous wreck, his life was so much better when he was with me, before he got the ow back in he was doing excellent at work, healthy and happy. He's a mess now, everyone knows it at work.

Oh cat,

It's so sad to see this happening to someone we love but only he can turn that around. Until he's sick of being sick and tired nothing will change.

Let's suppose that in fact you still want to reconcile.

There is no way to get from here to there that involves you pursuing STBX.

Now, if for 100% SURE you want the divorce, by all means, keep trying to get him to say things you want him to say, to see things your way.

Glad he didn't pick up the phone.

"ADHD people feel outside this word and can't relate half the time"

You might find it helpful to drop this description of people with ADHD from your mental picture. I think it is pretty negative and pretty inaccurate.