Hi guys! Ok, Char, I get it - not feeling great at the moment, so I'll post my "edge pieces" (I do love the analogy) later...
Quote: oh, and the dryer just buzzed...a woman's work is never ever done!!!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats womans work?
You're right, I'm busted, Floyd...SBH usually does the laundry (at least when I was working full time). I do the grocery shopping & a lot of the kid-care stuff (baths, pickup & dropoff, etc.). Groceries mostly because SBH is not good with people in public places and we agreed it would be best to keep him from killing anyone...!!! J/K
But now that I'm not "working" I'm trying to do more work around the house...
Thanks for the reminders of my humble humanity. I didn't so much think I knew everything as beat myself up for NOT knowing everything....esp. how to be a good mom, good housekeeper, good wife, good therapist, and pay the morgage. Just was too busy to realize you can't cheat your body out of rest. And too blinded to see how really depressed I was/am...Oh well. It's a new day!
To answer your questions... I DB because I love my H, because despite my own screw-ups I still believe in marriage, and because now that I've gained knowledge on how relationships are supposed to work I believe we can have a great marriage.
All that said, my H is now a WAH, so I've been on both sides. I can understand why he left (well, the mentality anyway, the reasons I'm still not so sure of) and I can understand why he tried when I was a WAW. I've been where you ladies are and now I'm where your LBS' are. Must say, it sucks to be on other side. If I had an any idea how much I hurt my H when I was a WAW... let's just say that I'm still dealing with the guilt over that one.
I acted like I was some kind of "prize" he had to win over... ugh, I was no prize, I was a burden, I was a completely selfish B#*&@! But I've changed, thank God. Yet, he tried and tried and when I finally woke up he'd already given up! So now I'm dealing with how I treated him... what goes around comes around I guess. The sad part is he thinks his being a WAH is justified, that I "deserve it". Maybe's he's right. Well, maybe he's wrong... the old me did deserve it, the new me still deserves it too but I have changed and can make him happy in our marriage if he'd allow me the chance. <sigh> Pretty screwed up, huh? Anyways, that's all on my thread so I won't go into that here.
My corners... love, faith, hope, and forgiveness.
Love - we loved each other very much when we got married, we had it before, we can have it again, love is a choice.
Faith - without it I'd still be a WAW, wouldn't have made any changes, would have nothing to believe it. If both parties don't have faith in marriage and each other then it's hard to make it work.
Hope - hope that the bad times are just temporary, hope for our dreams, hope for our future, hope for a lifetime of wonderful times together. Without hope we just look at here and now and that's not commitment, not building a life together.
Forgiveness - forgiving the big stuff and little stuff. No one is perfect, no marriage or relationship is perfect.
I guess that's all for now, better get back to work.
Quoting charcoal: however, H's reactions are not just some innocuous car backfiring that I believe to be a bomb... they are, or were the actual war)
You are assuming there, hence bull headed...
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... holy canoli, willwin...
you're saying perhaps H going off IS like some innocuous car backfiring!!! ohhhhhhhhhhh okay, i get it... duh...
listen folks, i've been reading back through here and finding little nuggets I missed before... thanks to all of you for responding i'm gonna post a link to WAW to see if I can get some more ideas.
J/K
