Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Reclaiming myself and my life #6

Frank,

You certainly sound like you have a much healthier attitude.

Keep it up!!

This is such a wise statement it cannot go unrecognized.

You are so correct in this observation that I want to make sure others see that.

Quote: "If you chase anything in life it runs ... (law of the jungle) If you sit quite and still you are less threatening and more approachable."

This is the core of db'ing, or any other course of action in our situations. Let go, let God.

So, just to update, W is back to polite but indifferent. At least she's not angry, she just doesn't care.

I sort of got my hopes up when she went to 'really nice' but not so much that it's crashing me. This is tiring. I'm going to be all right.

And just to show how crazy it is, she accidentally called me 'honey' today. Haven't heard that in 3 months. Oops!

Life goes on.

Maybe she forgot your name.

Maybe. Maybe God heard my prayers and talked to her.

Later on of course, she was asking me about dinner and said that cooking the BBQ ribs I had gotten would take 2 hours and it was already 6 pm. When I said 'Well, I'm not starving so I could wait' she said 'You know you aren't the only f'king person in this house!'.

Whoa.

I offered to go get something for D12 and her and I (D17 was at her boyfriends house). She said that she would eat some leftovers, and I went to ask D12 what she wanted, which I then went to get.

Later, when I got back with D12's food, W was watching TV and looking through the classifieds. I asked her what was she looking for and she said "I'm looking to see what it costs to live around here".

I didn't reply, and since I had also gotten a call from my new local divorced dad friend a few minutes before, I was on my way out so I left without saying anything to her.

Whatcha gonna do in these times? Get out of the house I guess.

It just might cost her more than she's willing to pay in the end.

Literally.

She has her 'fun' New Age girlfriends and no responsibility for her husband any more.

She seems to be willing to 'pay anything' for that.

Frank,

Buried underneath your wife's skewed pride and her anger are presumably two things: a heart and a conscience.

In the end of it all - whenever that is - however old she may be - she will look back and see that she was never fully aware, nor was she ever quite willing, to pay the dear price that she will surely pay for what she is doing.

She would have to be devoid of both a heart AND a conscience to avoid paying the piper, Frank.

She'll pay.

And she won't have "enough".

This fire has to make something of her, Frank.
She's in it now and there's no way out but THROUGH it.

The fire will make her or break her.

And only she will be able to decide which it will be when that time comes.