He does NOT want to think of you, it will remind him of his past mistakes
He has decided he wants to involve ow in his life, she is not the problem, HE is.
You CAN train your thoughts, you can redirect them. Do I think of ow every day? yes I do, but with less intensity/emotion. Realize, admit, that ow thoughts consume you, and realize how harmful they are. Right now the ow brain path in your brain is very deep, by default you think of them. You CAN redirect your thoughts, for a while they will resume their usual path: H, D, ow, but herd them back to healing and positive stuff. Eventually your thoughts wont linger on the bad stuff as often. Control your thoughts instead of letting the thoughts control you. This comes from a person who uncovered an A complete with phone records, naked picts, letters and others which burnt in my mind for what seemed like ages.
You can do it.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Of course you'll get through this. You just need to focus on you and leave them to do whatever it is their doing. Cat had some really good advice. It's hard for any of us to let go ands try to make a new life but it does happen.
Maybe this is only for now. Maybe your H will have a change of heart, but at least for now, you have to live and find your own happiness. Believe me, you will be so surprised by the strength that you never knew you had.
Get out. Do something fun that makes you smile. Life is good in spite of all that you're going through.
Well, I don't know that this is "only for now" or that H may have a change of heart. He must really hate me because he actually showed up at our spousal support hearing with OW!! Also had my Step-D18 there with him. I did not, nor was I required to, attend. My L handled it.
If H was trying to impress the judge, it didn't work. H was hoping that he wouldn't have to pay anything, but I was awarded more than I was getting before. Now H looks stupid in front of OW. LMAO!!!!
I know I'm supposed to concentrate on myself, but......LMAO!!!! I hope this causes problems with OW because since H is living with her, they took her income into account as well.
I didn't know that legally they could count OW's income since they are not married. Judges see this crap all of the time. He sent a message loud and clear when he chose to show up with his OW. Obviously that worked in your favor.
Don't ya just love when they make complete asses of themselves and you don't even have to lift a finger to make it happen! Congrats on the court decision.
Yep, won this battle, but not the war yet. The court will review my sitch again in August. Meanwhile, I think this D has thrown a wrench into their wedding plans this summer. H wanted D to be final the end of this month, but our trial date is set for Jan. 2009.
I know he hates me right now, but I always wonder if sometime down the road these errant H's ever come to their senses. And what the hell was H thinking when he brought OW to court? Did he think I would be there so they could rub their R in my face?
I hope they had a very unpleasant evening last night because I'm sure they thought they would be celebrating a victory.
The court will review my sitch again in August. Meanwhile, I think this D has thrown a wrench into their wedding plans this summer. H wanted D to be final the end of this month, but our trial date is set for Jan. 2009.
sometimes life does have a way of taking care of things, doesn't it? If his intention was to rub all this in your face, he's paying for that now.
