Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Can I post here ?

I believe I might not belong here. But I am struggling with same issues as married couples..

M:43
G/F:45
DECEASED SON: 2 YRS NOW
G/FD:23 -Lives away. But hates me
MD:21- Just moved home from collage.
R: 1YR AND 8 MONTHS

See I am absolutely crazy about her.I became so far -so deeply in love -I forgot that she is/was only my girlfriend and not my wife.

So crazy for her - That when an occasion arises to purchase a card ,flowers, candy kinda thing. She arouses all the majical things from my childhood..
For instance:
When I was a child - Walt Disney World was a magical place for me.So after I fell in love with her- I always purchase stuff characters from Walt Disney-
Whinnie Poo - Cause I you love
Gooffy - Cause I am goofy over you
Tigger the Tiger- Hey, Hey, Hey - Hereeee I ammmm ..

But this isn't as if I am not more than wrong in this relationship - I CAN AND WILL OWN UP TO MY FAULTS- As they are plentiful in this relationship.But having been watching the board and reading other person's posting thought's.. I have done most everything we all have discussed here..

Can I be on this board? If so then will post our story....Also I would spill all the beans of the relationship - my plentiful faults and her's..

Hoping for a good response from yall??

She has a OM whom she is hiding from me. But I know about it. I have been some crap though.. Also though she has moved out of house - We still sleep just about every night together- Even sometimes - she comes home and sleeps -I tell her it is as she has stated before - It is for the 1st time in her life - She is at home and knows and feels like she belongs in my house. But am beginning to believe it is ILYBNILWY deals..

IT IS JUST RIPPING ME FROM MY FRAME AND SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN AND CRY OR DIE..

I am putting the cart before horse - until I can see if I can plead for help from yall...

V/R,
M

First, I'm so sorry about the loss of your child.

Second, of course you can post here. I've seen several posts from people who weren't married but just as dedicated to the relationship.

1st - Thanks girlfromipanema for allowing me the oppty to post here!! My heart is reeling.. Just nowhere to place the feelings. Family is to close and this past down year in the economy has down-sized my life where I really lead a dull life and of course now broke to boot..

2nd - Thanks esp. for your sincere expression of sadness for G/F and the loss of her Son.. This week also was only the 2nd yr of his loss.. I might even reprint the "In Memorial".. Though I never got a chance to met her son. Also I just had met G/F 2 months after her loss of son.

I will continue to finish writing our story and post..

R Information:
M:43
G/F:45
DECEASED SON: 2 YRS NOW
G/FD:23 -Lives away. But hates me
MD:21- Just moved home from collage.
R: 1YR AND 8 MONTHS

So do I write and post the long version ( every detail) or the nuts and bolts

Still writing the every detail ..
As it involves everything MADE FOR TV has:
Money, Power, Sex, extra affairs by her, Washington DC beltway life, DRUGS, DRINKING..

Which story.. It is so weird to write this down - It seems to provide a few questions and answers to myself -Already ???
Interesting ..
HELP tell me which one to provide for the best possible results, thought's and actions to consider to take..

Sorry but Indeed to bump up to the answer ??

Mark,
Write however much you want. Some people provide every detail, others are the opposite. It's up to you. It may be easier to get started by summarizing, then provide details when or where it's necessary as your thread grows and people begin to respond.

Welcome, by the way.

Joie

Hi Joie
Thanks for the warm welcome...

Summary of R:

M:43
G/F:45
(OM):31 Married -even with small children
R:1YRS 8 months

It started simple enough.. Guy staring so hard at us as a couple in our local bar.. We notice it as strange-He is unknown to us at that time.
He engages small talk with us..
I then start to see where - every time we are there at bar -He shows up unannounced -I knew G/F didn't know - I didn't either -
R was great at that time..
(OM) starts over taking our entire time out together.. Talking directly to her-Leaving me out -Even to point when I go to restroom-HE TAKES MY SEAT -BESIDE HER..WTH??
I explain to G/F -(OM) is bad for us..
G/F goes into denial ..He has no friends and is wanting a friend.
She is in complete denial of anything other than M trying to control and determine who can or she can not be friends with..
Found text messages between them.
G/F starts hiding phone and calls- even taking cell phone to restroom while at home.. She even starts going out-side just to talk to her FRIENDS..
My(D)moves home- 21YR collage..I had gone broke and had to move (D)home.
Found text messages between them :
(OM) Can I call you yet? -Then she calls him back in 20 min..
(OM)to G/F -Are you moving out yet? G/f reply-YEP!!
I gently ask G/F what is going on with (OM) ?
She explodes-She says -Don't meddle in her business-I am too controlling to tell her who her friends can be or not?
Claims I am showing the GREEN EYED MONSTER-Bad sign to her? WTH?
Also -I then say to her -Look I need some kinda commitment -I don't want to waste years of time - Only for her to never commit to me?
She says -Days later-She will never marry again-But if her living with me wasn't good enough to move on?

I then see her phone bill??? Uhmm 685 min to (OM)of a 700 min plan..
(OM)phone bill- IS $600 dollars over normal as well?? But they just chat as friends?????
She goes and visits friend in hospital? Falls sleep at friends house with friends (H) and her son?? Comes home at 4am..

She has girl's night out -Claims to have gone out with (OM) and his (W)Verify she did-She was seen by my good friend - He tells me though -He asked about me : She told him-Where were taking a break?
All along -She continues the cell phone crap -Hiding it ? Deleting everything?
Am I this stupid??
On my birthday-I exploded -Moved her out by force?
Please dont lose me here? It is known -That it was totally out of my charchter?

She comes and goes? She still is in denial?
We have had sex once sinse 11th March..
She continues to call me almost daily?
Comes to sleep at my house
I show up crying (drinking ) get in bed with her and go to sleep -Explaing my deepest love and it is ripping me up?
She still deny's eveything?

So she even called me - just before I was leaving to go to her house to work in her yard? She ask if OK -If (OM) CAN COME BY - HE IS MAD WITH WIFE AND NOWHERE TO GO? I knowing I had no choice -Said ok? But it went ugly? I was a smart butt towards him?

Last night - Somehow (OM)comes up? I keep trying to shut down that talk about him? For approx 2 hours this goes on??? I told G/F-Lets move to neighbors house (Her brother In law and sister house)Finally after even her family chimes in about the GREEN EYED MONSTER- I exploded -Saying I am a good man- I left and went home to my house.. Got my clothes and bag I had packed for the weekend and left..
Her family was saying to stay-G/F said -No let him go ? I was a smart butt said something back -cant remember and went home ??

I came to believe or at-least feel like G/F was trying to run me opff- But she Deny's that - I was the ugly one?

WHAT the Heck ??


WHAT CAN OR DO NOW??

I am shaking still this morning ?
Oh she did call late last night once-I didn't answer?/
I am afraid she is gone? She is the type -That if I do not respond with something - She moves on??
I cant even think straight this morning ---

PLEASE HELP ME ??

Also I have been writing every detail of our (R)almost complete -But it seems the more I write about it-It looks so messed up? But I do know -I am so in love with her??

G/F called about 1-2 hours after I had left last night.Saw it on caller ID this AM? Should I return call today? Just got back from a parade...

Call her or wait till this afternoon (we had plans on a cook-out at sister's house this afternoon and into tonight) or see if see calls me again later today.. As she has not called me today as of yet? I knew she was doing some work around her house..

I feel as if I am just a doormat.. Even brother inlaw told me another different sister told him- G/F said -Hey I will just ride it out with him or what I can -Not much feelings to it??

Just talked with brother inlaw- G/F is with (OM).
Infact after I left last night - He called her or she called him-either way - He went to G/F house and entire family talked brutality about me... She was saying -I was stupid,minute man in bed, Brother Inlaw - said it was so bad (talking about me) that he left the room .. Just to get away from it..

Brother Inlaw also told me that on the nights she would be at her house -Guess who would show up as well.. Thats right (OM) ..

G/F sayes to her family last night - That Sunday she was coming to get her tanning bed,(and bring (OM) AND HER BIBLES, JUST A FEW ITEMS SHE HAS HERE ...

This guy is married... The age of her deceased son.. G/F family knows all this also.. They say -It isn't their business to get involved.. I don't blame them ..

I want to show my but tomorrow - If (OM) comes into my house...

OMG - I am crying so hard -shaking .. I wfeel so stupid-

They are cruising around today.. Where is his wife in all this? I though believe is might be OK - with it ...

Brother Inlaw at first was like - I want you to come over tonight for the cook-out as planned - Kinda laughed - Then quickly changed his mind though... Everyone knows -I am not a fighter..

I am afraid that - I loved her too much...
Allowed myself to become a doormat ..
Never set bounderes with her...

Just not manly enough for her..