Joie, NO I am not ready to throw in the towel just sick of the situation and was having a bad few days. I cant seem to keep focused on myself and I worry too much about what H is doing. I am trying to stop that.
On the other hand H came over today and we had a really great day. Spent lots of time as a family, got alot done around the house. S19mo loved being with his dad and spending the day outdoors. H said he has not been out with OW in a long time. (not sure how long that is to him) and he told me he loved me today. Havent heard that in a really really long time. It was nice to hear especially after I have been having my doubts the last few days. H is coming over tomorrow to put up a new swingset for son so that will be nice to have. I think i was just being paranoid because when I really sit and think about things or type them out on here I can see he appears to be trying and moving in the right direction. Again I have never been a patient person, and of course who dosent want things to move quicker than they are but the reality is way different. Thanks so much for always keeping me in check Joie and reminding me to stay focused. You have helped so much
OMG! That's one giant step for Hurtmom and one big leap for your H!
I know it's hard to stay focused. I'm pretty much piecing but it gets me, too ... those posts in the Wise Advice forum helped me, too. The mind wandering does tend to happen when you start thinking too much. Is there a way to turn off our brains?????????
I'm so happy for you that you had a good day. You needed it. Here's to another one tomorrow.
Had a pretty good day again today. Worked this am then H and FIL cmae over and put up son's swingset. Took them about 8 hours. H has a cold, said he was tired and has to work early in the morning so didnt really get a chance to talk at all today. I just keep praying that things continue down the same path, that H is not lying to me and we are on our way to recovery...slowly..slowly ....slowly!!!!
Joie thanks so much for the support. I know I say this often but I dont think I could ever say it enough. You have been wonderul and I look forward to reading your posts everyday!! You always say something that makes me feel better. I hope you had a great weekend
Hurtmom, So glad to help. We are all going through or have gone through so much pain that it's soothing to reach out to others.
Sometimes I'm just a blindly (or stupidly) optimistic person ... but I didn't really realize that until all this happened to me. I also found out I had a lot more fight in me than I ever knew.
Thumbs up on the second good day with H again. And, my weekend was ok. I was not as productive as I should have been. Oh well. But the weather was BEAUTIFUL!
Wow..That is GREAT!! What i would give to have H say " I love you" to me again..He ahs told me that he loves me because we have such a long history and we have kids together but he hasn't said it to me in the way that i'd like.I miss it so much and I want it all back like Yesterday..But I realize it took years for us to reach this point and it won't change overnight. I see that he's really trying. And it seems that your H is too..Hope things continue to work for you ..:-)
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
I sort of feel like I am at a stand still. Nothing new, nothing seems to change. Which I guess is not all that bad. H has not been over yet this week. We are planning on doing something together saturday night "date night" I guess you could call it. I feel better than I have in days. I guess I have finally realized there is nothing I can do to change him or make him come he has to do this on his own. I believe that things will work out in the end I'm jjust learning to be patient. It appears that H is trying and we have a long long long road to recovery. It's the hurry up and wait game from here on out I think.
H is sick so we just went out to dinner than back to "our" place and watched a movie. Was nice to just hang out though. H is coming over tomorrow so I can go to the movies with friends.
H told me tonight he is lonely and I asked him how things were going ending it with OW and he just said good. He said he's glad we have come as far as we have, said he didnt think we would ever get there. So I guess he thinks things are going well and I do to some extent. He is still very selfish with his time but I guess it's progress. Would like him to be a better father among other things but hopefully that will come with time
Too bad the date night got canceled but cool that you still spent time with him.
He didn't think you'd come as far as you have? Sounds like DB has had some positive effects for you. As a moderator said in another forum, patience is key.
So if he does come home, and you begin piecing things back together, what then? Have you thought about what you need to make it work?
