Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives She's Gone - No Contact (Part 2)

I have read your posts before but I don't think I have posted to you. I would go with #1, call her. At some point, you just have to "know" your situation. Either she will respond, or she won't. If you send a card, a letter, etc., you don't know what her response is. If you call her and she says "leave me alone", you will know that you/she are "done".And you can move forward. If you get an encouraging response, you will know the ball is now in her court and you can go from there.

You have already tried 2, 3, and 4. Did they work? Michelle says "Do what works". If they didn't elicit a response, then go with #1. Is there somewhere else you can call from so she doesn't see your number? I know that sounds manipulative, but then you could stand a better chance of getting her to answer. Then again, if you call from your own phone and she doesn't answer, and you leave a message and she doesn't call back, you would also know she is not interested.......

Just my opinion

K - I haven't been on much as I'm really sick at the moment but caught up just now. I agree with #1 - call her. Yes, it will be tough and take a lot of guts. As Just_me said - it's only if you need to be "out of limbo."

Otherwise.. the alternative would be "assume" that she's not interested and go with #4, and move on.

Thanks to you all. It's unanimous that I either need to continue with #4 or call her (#1). I can probably wait a little longer. I would like to know what in the heck she's thinking. I wish so badly that I could talk to someone who knows her and knows what's going on. But there's no one.

Bobbi Jo - Thanks for dropping in. It's good to have a new perspective. Thanks for bringing up the "does it work" thing. The thing is, nothing is working. Calling her hasn't worked, not calling her hasn't worked, sending a card hasn't worked, apologizing hasn't worked, staying away hasn't worked, etc. But, it has been awhile so maybe if I called, it might be "something different."

Does anyone have anymore ideas on "something different?"

Nik - Sorry you've been sick. Thanks for checking in.

You all have been such a great support group. I feel so much stronger than I did 2 months ago. I feel really good and life is good.

Good luck to everyone! I believe in miracles and I'm with Bobbi Jo (With God, all things are possible.)!!!

K

Just checking in, thinking of you....

Have you decided? Will you call her?

I have had to work on patience. I have this impulse-control thing! I probably would have called already b/c when I want to know, I want to know "rightnow". Good for you for being patient. I am trying to do the same.....

Thanks for dropping in BJ! Yes, I am terribly impatient. I am just learning patience so I'm wondering if I should just keep on being patient and "wait" for her to call me. I'm still torn. I really appreciate all the advice but I don't want to blow it again.

Anyone have any thoughts on all this? What do I do that's "something different"? Do I call now or wait another week, another month?

Thanks! K

The only other thing K would be a chance run in.. and I'm not sure how you could do that without looking stalkerish... besides, you'd have to be a really great actor to pull off it being a "chance" meeting and not heavily thought out!

Hugs,
W2G

Good idea W2G if there was any hope. Don't know how I would pull that one off. We don't live in the same community so there's no chance of "running into each other" at the grocery, movie, restaurant, etc.

Any other ideas?

Anyone else?

Thanks so much. K

I can't decide if I should call her or not. Does anyone think it will be the wrong thing to do? Does it look like I'm pursuing? I've done so well (not calling) that I'm afraid of screwing up. Help!

If you have done so well not calling then calling would be "doing something different". I vote call.

Go ahead and call. It's been enough time to test the waters.

Get the info you need to make a decision one way or the other.