Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Popping over from Newbies...seperated 2 months

Hi CW, he lives with his Mom, Dad and Sis right now and I know they have no prob with him doing laundry there. Heck his Sis and Mom have even done it for him a couple times. He still has a lot of clothes here and when he does his laundry he switches some clothes around.

Everything here is the same as it was when he left. Even his bedside table hasn't been altered. He's taken enough to stay away but keeps a lot of his stuff here. He was coming by every 2 days or so to get new clothes but after the drink fiasco he packed a suitcase of clothes.

Weird sitch me thinks

Jen

My H was similar. He brought a lot of his stuff to the apartment, but kept clothes here. At one point I asked him to take all of his things from the closet, to which he replied, "Well, when I stay at the house, what do I do?" Me: "The same as I do when I stay at the apartment; pack a bag." I told him that I needed to set some kind of boundaries in this weird sitch we have and that was that the bedroom not constantly remind me of him and his absence. He understood.

If he can do laundry at his Mom's, then he's coming by to keep a connection and/or accidentally run into you guys. No question.

I still feel like this is the biggest test of my life and I feel sometimes like I'm getting a big fat F! Other days maybe a C but mostly a F.

He still says that he doesn't want to rush the D but that I keep giving him resons to go. I think he's looking for reasons to come back but isn't finding what he's looking for.

Jen

I think he's still a very confused guy. Wants a D but doesn't want to rush it, wants a D but gets annoyed when I take down a wedding pic, wants a D but tells me that there's still a small chance of reconcillation, wants a D but doesn't want to get rid of me, we'll alwys be friends etc etc and on we go.

Ya basta!! (that's enough!!)

Jen

Yeah, they are confused mothers, eh?

Just think of becoming who you want to be. This person is someone who they want to come back to, but even if they don't, you're the one who's rockin'!

We got a couple of DAMs on our hands CW, what are we going to do with them? Um nothing but DB then to heck!!

Seriously DAM.

FupDAM hehe

I'm out. Going on a long bike ride!

Then this is some thing you can change. Keep showing him some of the changes you have made and he may start to notice that they will stick.

The time my H was avoiding me was right after I contacted OW and he was furious with me. It lasted a couple of weeks and then little by little he was finding more reasons to be here.
I really don't think that's the sitch with your H. He probably thought he'd run into you at some point while he was there. You may have been out longer than he expected and then he had to leave. He probably does want to maintain connection and that's why he's still doing laundry there, keeping his stuff there and going over.