Jen, the main difference with you is that you have actually been trying to make changes to yourself. You backslide...Well, we all do. But you continue to try and it will become easier. You are actually listening to the advice that you are being given. You are not just playing the martyr!!!! It takes time.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Not sure who the other poster is (boy I hope it isn't me), but I think you are making great strides. You don't strike me as the martyr type at all. Love the top 10 btw. I think if you see some of yourself in this other person, and you realize that you don't want to be that way then you have grown. You are seeing things that need to change rather than ignoring those issues. That is a great thing!
I play a martyr at home. No seriously I do have a tendancy to play the poor Jen card a lot and sometimes I know that I can change a sitch and but do not try. I have learned a lot these past couple months and have now committed to change. Now is the right time to say "me first".
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I know who the poster in question is - and NO! You are very different from her, don't worry. You DO change, nevermind the backslides. Great list, btw.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
D and I went out for a while this am and when we got home H was here. He said he arrived a couple hours ago to use the computer. He left after 10 minutes to go teach his class. Thats the first time we've seen him since Thursady night.
Bummer is Thursday he said he'd call me on Friday but I never heard from him. Then today he said when he left "see you tomorrow" because he's taking D for a bit. I'm glad I never got my expectations up for him to call!
I'm still waiting to move into stage 2 but I think it'll be a while yet.
I'm def. not calling HIM today or later and no TM for that matter either. I'm trying to give space and gain some for myself too.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I'm def. not calling HIM today or later and no TM for that matter either. I'm trying to give space and gain some for myself too.
Good idea! Don't initiate contact - he'll miss you so much more if you don't call, TM. The only way he may realize what he had is if he actually starts to miss you. Give him the time alone to think things through!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Ok so I had to call him. I can't find my keys and had to find out if he took them by accident when he left. He'll come by later and bring me the spare set. Kind of crappy though because now we are stuck inside. Bright side is I'm getting th laundry done.
Not a backslide though since it's an emergency. Right?
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
