I'm so glad you're feeling better! HURRRRRAAAAYYYYY!
I think that it would be a good idea to show your B that it's OK to call him by gently taking steps towards him.....I think his steps towards you have been tentative so far and since he was pleased to hear from you the other day, that's not because he's angry. I think it might reflect that he is a bit nervous of making contact. So, IMHO, definitely worth reaching out and showing him it's OK to speak to you more and more, and that you would like to be friends. My $0.02!
Oh. I love the cornflower blue boots. Can you post a link? I'm intrigued!!
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
I second that! What are fluffy boots!?? I'm guessing fluffy on the inside, because fluffy on the outside probably wouldnt work.
T..your BF left you..left it 5 months...posted you a key, then did a brave by calling you STRAIGHT BACK! Ok, to return his call a week later is perhaps a bit keen, two weeks...fine, yuo didnt call him straight back, you made your point, but 3 weeks? Hmm, ok that seems a little too long and the momentum may be lost..
I agree with Kalni..you have DBed like your life depended on it, time to get out of the DBing classroom and put on the recital..?
P-H-O-N-E H-I-M !!!!
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
-More troubled sleep returned last night, got a late start to my day (11 pm).
-Went to school, practiced the piano, did a "mock piano performance" (FROM MEMORY) for some friends.
-Went to the gym to work out & do a little yoga-- two days in a row!!
-Practiced my cello, but got so frustrated that I started to cry and decided to pack up and go home. I think I am going to talk about my low energy/sleep/motivation/overwhelmed-ness issues tomorrow with my counselor AND my teacher. I just have a huge pile of things to do, I get so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin, plus I am a little out of the saddle from being sick and away for so long... I NEED TO RECALIBRATE AND START A POSITIVE PATTERN!!!!!!
Ladies!!! Do not fear, it has only been a week and a half!!! If I can go to yoga this thurs I will try to call him afterwards -- I want to make sure I am in "good happy place" when I call, otherwise I will probably puke on myself. If I can't go to yoga, then, this upcoming weekend, which will only be 2 weeks and 2 days. I will probably need to ask you guys to repeat the advice you have already told me AGAIN, because I am very SCARED AND HESITANT, and I need REASSURANCE ...!!!!!!
One Day, My rock and my role model!! Thank you for encouraging me to make contact. It means so much to me and it is super reassuring to get "permission" from my support group!
Ali, You are so delightful!!! I feel so validated and encouraged by you, and you made me laugh! I really like what you said about it's time to put on the recital! That is totally how musicians think (like us, you awesome Radiohead guitar player) !!
Actually, the boots *are* fluffy on the OUTSIDE... but somehow it manages to work spectacularly!!
cornflower blue fluffy boots Kalni, you are amazing. Thank you so much for your loving prodding. I am going to call him. I am going to call him. You are right. I can create situations to show my changes. Thank you for telling me I have succeeded in working on myself. I still see so many things I want to clean out and improve inside, it means a lot to be reminded that I have made progress!!!
Essie, My darling!! Thank you for the book recommendation!! And I am glad that we can be fluffy-booted together!!! I never would have picked up a title like that without a resounding recommendation from someone I trust, such as yourself! and One day To BOOT! I am kind of burnt out on the relationship reading, I have a stack by my bed of half-finished stuff that I bought from amazon (secrets men keep, five languages of apology, how to improve your marriage without talking about it, four agreements, ETC) but maybe I can put them on the back burner and check out this BITCHIN business!!!!!
Also, to answer your question...There is no attraction with this cello friend. He is secretly dating another cello friend! And WAY too young for me.
OK!!!! Going to fold my laundry and then hopefully SLEEP LIKE A LOG!!
Oh, I wanted to tell you guys... a couple nights ago I hit a really amazing pocket of good vibes inside my heart, and I did a positive visualization for every one of you regular threadreaders, imagining you blissed out with your blissed out WA, hearts and arms open to each other. *Just putting that out there*.
I'd love to see what outfit you are going to wear with those boots!! They really are fluffy! Great way to attract attention - I bet you get lots of comments! xx
Flippin 'eck, fluffy? You werent kidding, they're like discarded feet from the Muppet Show. I like them alot! Wouldnt work here.. you'd have calf muscles like Popeye dragging those babies around, sodden and soaked through with English rain. I'm guessing they work best in very very dry and cold places.. um, cant think of that combination, the Moon!? They' re ace, lush colour!
Ali xxx _____________ Me: 37 BF: 34 T: 9 years IDLYA: 2 Nov 07 Own flat: 26 Jan 08 Depression confirmed: 4 Mar freaky friendship
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
yay for the boots!!! I am achieving a childhood goal of living on Sesame Street, by becoming a woman with feet like a muppet!!! Cookie Monster, yes, or a blue snuffaluffagus!!
Well, I won't be going to yoga on thursday b/c I probably am not going to get back from a Cello Ensemble All Day Long Performance Tour until after the class is over And it is totally out of my control. Other than that I can wait until Tuesday and then call him LATE after yoga class gets out (10 pm) which would maybe be too much like the time I used to call him when we were together... or I could wait til thursday and call him 8ish (more friendly, more 180 with the time), or I could try to concoct some kind of out of the ordinary yoga plan to put myself in a happy place before calling him....??? Wow, I am LOVIN my own OVERANALYSIS OF THIS SITUATION!!!
-Yesterday I had a good counseling session... I got a little upset b/c my counselor told me we needed to "finish counseling" and I thought he meant, like, FOREVER (since it is free through my university I only get a certain number of sessions). I told him I was concerned b/c I feel like I still have a bunch of BS inside I need to clean out, & also am hoping to have increased contact with B, and could use counseling support. WELL, it turns out he only meant wrapping up for the semester! PHEW! I can still sign up for another set of sessions in the fall. Alleluia!
-I got a NINETY EIGHT PERCENT on my piano test!! I felt SO good!
-I had a really good cello lesson, even though I wasn't super prepared. My teacher was very attentive and helpful. I told her that I was concerned that I was not working as hard as I want to and that I was "out of the saddle". She said, don't worry, it's like getting ready for the Olympics, it takes a while. She said this in a very reassuring voice.
-Worked out AGAIN--three days in a row. This made surviving my ridiculous 2 1/2 hour long seminar on mozart much easier. (Watching operas on video in Italian WITH NO SUBTITLES. ????? Talk about a quality educational experience.)
-Tonight I gave a GREAT performance with my piano quartet!! I know it sounds like it should be four pianists playing together, but it is actually piano-violin-viola-cello (with me on the cello). There were some really awesome emotional moments of connection... and a great response from the audience. I feel like I am on my way to "getting there" as an artist. I am starting to really DO it. Make beauty.
Ali, I did some research into acupuncture in my area... I would like to try it for insomnia and some other issues. How much does it usually cost to see someone good? The ones I was looking at were $100/session which seems INSANE to me as a grad student... but I don't want to waste time with people who don't know what they're doing.... what would you recommend??
And it is totally out of my control. Other than that I can wait until Tuesday and then call him LATE after yoga class gets out (10 pm) which would maybe be too much like the time I used to call him when we were together... or I could wait til thursday and call him 8ish (more friendly, more 180 with the time), or I could try to concoct some kind of out of the ordinary yoga plan to put myself in a happy place before calling him....??? Wow, I am LOVIN my own OVERANALYSIS OF THIS SITUATION!!!
