Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Popping over from Newbies...seperated 2 months

Thinking that by the time I get the book I'll be almost Ded. H told me tonight that the documents are ready to be signed and the J wanted us in court in April but was told that H would be out of the country. His sister his L would ask for a date after I get back from my trip on June 8th. H said he isn't in any rush and was surprised that the papers were ready so soon. I think that this is all snowballing so fast. We thought the process wouldn't be done until maybe August. Gosh this is so hard.

He has said that we should look at this as a chance of a new R for both of us. That we can't be friends because we're more than friends because we share so much. I just love him so much.

Jen

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. This is all happening so fast. Is it the actual D or some other initial proceedings???

((((((Jen))))))

I agree, Jen.

D is a terrifying word and a painful process to go through but it also could be a chance for your future together.

Dearest (((Jen))), hold on!

Thinking of you!

Addie, I think it might be the signatures for the D to proceed. H doesn't know exactly what it is. I'm going to ask someone about that. I know the D is going to go faster than either of us expected. H was very surprised. I'm confused even after a fairly good nights sleep.

Stella, yes its the worst word that any married person can ever hear. I hope that we can be together again but for now I have to let go of that idea and just be happy with what he has said to me and knowing he'll always be here for me.

I know a D isn't always the end but sometimes a beginning.

Jen

(((Jen)))

I can't remember how you said D's work in Venezuela.. but I think I recall you saying it taking a decent amount of time. So time is on your side.. but it does seem rushed.. try to remain calm and continue to DB your butt off. There is still time.

There have been positives in your sitch lately. The more positives that happen the more doubt your H should feel. So keep it up and stay strong!

You can do this.. We're here for you so lean on us!

((((Jen))))
W2G

(((Jen)))

So sorry to hear of this. I forgot, have you consulted with an attorney? If so, what did they say? If not, go!

Thanks everyone! It's great that I can rely on my DB buddies to ease my mind.

I'm beginning to wonder how they work here in this country. We understood that it would probably take about 6 or 7 months but it's only been a month. I think maybe H is misunderstanding what the court date is for. His sister asked for a delayed court date due to our trips so I do have until at least the middle of June.

The more I think about it the more it seems that this might just be the preliminary thing. I understood that we have to see Cs before its all final.

Here in Venezuela right now nothing is working properly. A friend of mine who is a L said that all the courts are really slow right now. So thats why I'm surprised.

They sell booklets of all the laws in kiosks here so I'll pick up the Divorce Law/Family law booklet ASAP.

We're being very civil about this and it's almost like a business deal. I'm going to ask my friend to come with me when we have the court date so I understand everything I need to sign. I trust H 100% but need to protect myself from the courts not him.

Jen

Jen, have you seen a L? I think you need to so that you don't accidentally get screwed because you don't understand something or because you're relying on booklets from a kiosk and a friend. At the very least, knowing what is actually going on will settle your mind.

Jen, your trip may actually come at a great time - at least it delays the process some. How long are you going for? Try to have little contact with H during that time. He may realize how much he misses you and D.
Get yourself a Lawyer to protect yourself especially with the language barrier and when it comes to legal terminology it is always much more difficult to understand.

Hi CW yes I agree. The booklets are produced by the government and also you can find all the laws on the government website. My friend is a L and I'm going to find out the process from her. In the mean time I got this (See Below)...

"Venezuelan laws only accept divorce in three cases; a. Separation of bodies of at least year. b. Separation de facto of five or more five years. c. Presentation of a document to sue for a divorce sentence. If a person does not meet one of any of those three situations, they will not be able to divorce in Venezuela. If the pair agrees to separate, they can ask a judge to declare a separation of bodies. This request must be presented in person by both spouses attended by a lawyer of their confidence. The courts usually grant it in few days. All the courts are not adapted for this diligence; the lawyer will know to choose the suitable Court taking into account the residence of the pair, and if they have smaller children under 18 years. Once the separation of bodies is granted, husband and wife free themselves of the obligation to live together, but they remain married and they must keep fidelity and respect, this means that neither husband nor wife can initiate a new sentimental relation since to do so would be considered adultery. Also they will be obligated to aid the spouse/children in case of emergency. If a year passes since the Court grants the separation and the pair has not reconciled, one or both of the spouses can solicit that the separation of bodies become a divorce.

The separation of bodies is not a definitive situation and, until the pair is declared divorced, can at any time reconcile with no need of a document or authorization.

In most cases, this mechanism is most recommendable since the delay of a year helps to calm things before arriving at the state of a definitive divorce. On the other hand, during the year of separation some couples find a way to save their marriage."

It's what I thought all along. I tried to tell H this but he said that he's not filing for a separation he's filing for D. Think HE might be in for the surprise. I think we're being summoned to sign the separation papers. In the meantime Everything I have found says what you read above. I translated it from Spanish for you guys and so I'd understand too.

Jen