Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Popping over from Newbies...seperated 2 months

Hi Jen,

Your H cares about you.. spends time with you.. wants to remain friends with you.. (and friendship is the basis for every GOOD marriage).. is communicating with you... thinks you're a good "woman"... This is an amazing list! I see a lot of good in your sitch. But like Addie said above.. let him discuss his want for a divorce and either say nothing or affirm.. that's the best thing you can do!

I'm so pleased that you were able to spend 3 hours together and were civil/friendly during the entire time. You should be really proud of yourself. It sounds like you've got your anger under control.. and I TRULY believe that is the first step!!

Good Job!
(((Jen)))

W2G

Oh, and congratulations on being a God Mother! Is an honor to be asked!

Thanks I am honoured. It's my first nephew.

Sometimes the worst thing about spending time with H is the next night gets so lonely. I wish he was here now but he's not. I spoke to him just now on the phone and I wanted so bad to ask him to come over. But I know thats not with the "system".

I guess its a bit like going into his cave. We talked a lot last night and now he's distancing himself a little.

Ok so what shall I do tonight? D is sleeping and I think I'll watch a little TV.

Jen

up

How about tonight you do something a bit more active/interactive? I was going to pop in a movie last night or watch American Idol until I remembered I had a banner to make for my S5's t-ball team. It was really enjoyable and before I knew it the night was over and I was done. it also felt good to have something created/completed.

You could pick up a book, start a craft project (esp. if that's a 180) or even finish something you've been putting off.

I watched a bit of TV last night. I've been reading the mars and Venus book again and learning more the 2nd time around. I'll read some more tonight.

I ticked off H this am (again). He came by to print off something on the comp. I saw that he had his overnight bag that he takes his clothes in. I asked him all sorts of questions about it. He wasn't impressed and left the apartment quite miffed. I know what I did wrong but it's so easy. I need to remember that he's a great guy and I have to trust him to do the right thing. I'm not going to apologize for it though because that'll make him remember the incident.

God, my mouth is too big for my head!

Jen

Hi Jen,
Have you been able to get a hold of DR - you said you were waiting for it. That is my marriage bible which I keep reading and rereading. Eventually it really sinks in and it becomes easier to do the things suggested. Believe me I know it's difficult, but for the sake of your M, you have to bite your tongue and give H his space. Let go of that rope. I know, easier said than done.

I haven't gotten the book yet since I don't know anyone going to the US right now (except H and I don't want him buying DR for me). I'm going to get him to buy a couple of others including "Change your life and everyone in it", "His Needs/Her Needs" and "The Mom Factor". I NEED DR but I'll have to pick it up when I go to Canada in May. I'll have to read the others first.

At least everyone here is so great and helpful. I've learned so much already and am looking forward to getting to read DR. I hope I can manage with what I have available for now.

Thanks so much Addie!

Jen

I wish you could get it sooner, but definitely get it when you're in the US. You might want to order it from Amazon and have it delivered somewhere in case your local bookstore is out.

Hi

I should find it in May at Chapters. I really need it now but unless I find someone besides H going to the states I'll have to wait. I was going to get it delivered to me here but the local postal service leaves much to be desired (slooow).

I'd ask him but I don't think it's good to let your WAS know you're reading a book that might "win" them back

Jen