oh, ok....well Im glad she is doing ok...Im hoping you find out what caused it.
My daughter is doing good. She is on meds for anxiety, however she has been diagnosed with trich, so it will be a long road for her to overcome it. Im so glad this isnt your daughters case. I was thinking about her though.
Take care!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Okay, I'm an oldtimer, but what's with the terminology? I used to say my WAH was in MLC......
And, Cinders, I do think you still have not detached, which will be like your H is nothing but your kids' dad. It will help and it's the right thing.
Not sure what advice is given these days, but we used to say to detach, treat your spouse like the UPS guy. This is to keep the emotions from going either way.
Give this to God... you still haven't, you know. Not that I don't understand, I was a VERY slow learner.
Cnders, It sounds like you need to go dark. He is behaving like a complete fool and showing no concern for how you feel. I would like to slap him up.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Jack for those of us who are even slower learners than Frosty would you like to elaborate on this:
Quote:
I see a big difference between a WAH or WAW, and a MLC WAH or WAW.
Maybe the labels shouldn't matter but I'm currently standing on the basis that IF my H is MLC he is sick. If he is simply a WAH he isn't sick and therefore my reasons for remaining loyal to this man are tenuous at the very least.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
How long has this been going on for you? When did you get the bomb?
From what I first remember of you (I read a lot about you) you were one together person who was doing great! You were always very supportive. Maybe now you need more support from us.
Somewhere I read, recently, about being in this for five years. Not sure when that is supposed to start (from the bomb or from when they start being nasty to you) but five years is a long time.
Cinders, the only person who can answer all of your questions is God and He will if you ask him.
Hang in there...sometimes when it seems the darkest is just before things start to break through.
You are human. Allow yourself to be human and make mistakes.
I am so sad what is happening. I agree that it is more challenging over in Europe as BFM mentioned since there is more acceptance of this kind of casual behavior from people.
I will say that to me that this seems like a strong spiritual attack on you and your family. Continue to be strong for you, your children and your entire family.
On a more secular observation, I would say that the OW is threatened by you and the relationship you have with your children. She probably is very cognizant of the ties between you and your H and sees you as a threat to her R with your H. I can imagine that she sees the children as what binds the two of you (your H and you) together so by acting close to the children, she thinks she can become a second mom to them.
Before that causes the fire to boil inside of you, understand that she can never replace you as the childrens' mom and will only create anger from the children if she oversteps too far. Your H may be supporting her attempts to win the children over for different reasons. He is probably not trying to get her to be a replacement for you as the childrens mom but is trying to get the children to embrace her as a way to receive approval for his choice.
While there are definite boundaries that should be respected, please do not allow their foolish schemes to disrupt your peace and your relationship with your children. Stay focused on being the woman God knows you are and on Him. This is what you and your children need the most.
I feel for you and what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Do not let these attacks be successful. Fight back with the armor of God:
Ephesians 6:10-18
"Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Cinders remember what God says about spiritual attacks in,
1 Peter 5:8
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
The devil does exist and is mentioned in both the Old and New Testament numerous times, with warnings by God and Jesus never to assume that you are beyond his attacks. In fact, Jesus was approached by Satan in the desert and in the Garden, tempting Him to save Himself or to have His Father save Him. If Satan has the audacity to think he can attack Jesus, do you think that we are out of his grasp.
You are one of the strongest people I know Cinders and I know where your strength comes from. Remember to let Him help you at this point and do not try and take back control from Him at this critical point.
Hugs, mmf
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Okay, I'm an oldtimer, but what's with the terminology? I used to say my WAH was in MLC......
And, Cinders, I do think you still have not detached, which will be like your H is nothing but your kids' dad. It will help and it's the right thing.
Not sure what advice is given these days, but we used to say to detach, treat your spouse like the UPS guy. This is to keep the emotions from going either way.
Give this to God... you still haven't, you know. Not that I don't understand, I was a VERY slow learner.
Detach!!!!
Take Care!
Actually, I'm really trying to think of him as the UPS guy.
I haven't said that I am detached, I know I'm not, it still hurts too much. I just don't want to be confronted with him at the moment. You know, like not having to see someone..but in my case it's hard because we have kids. Even so, I keep contact now to the bare minimum and it feels best that way.
Yes, detaching is the way to go, I'm not there yet....will get there, somehow, someday. Thanks for your input !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
