You are welcome...thank *you* for sharing all these great thoughts!~! I am so glad to hear you are in individual counseling and that it is helping tremendously!!!! That is super !
Your husband sounds amazing... do not give up!!!!! I love what you wrote about how he wouldn't let you off the hook when you got up out of bed without realizing why. SCM you have probably done this already, but do you thank him for pushing you to share? It is probably a little stressful for him to do it because he is helping you go to an uncomfortable place so it's probably uncomfortable for him too. Can you encourage him when he encourages you? Can you do something special to show him how much it helps? Something like, "thank you so much for calling me out like that. it helps me so much when you push me to share my feelings, even though it's uncomfortable for me." He sounds like an incredible partner in this journey right now... hooray!!!!
what are you guys doing for fun in the next 3 days??? something silly that will make you laugh and feel good together!!
Hang in there, SCM! I am so glad you're here and in piecing!
AWARENESS!!!!! Oh! Have you read anything by Thich Naht Hahn? He has this great book called "ANGER" which is really about couples. And a lot of it is about welcoming and accepting your own emotions. I have found it SUPER helpful, just as a guide to understanding myself better. Also "LIVING IN THE LIGHT" by Shakti Gawain. Basically, there is no reason to be afraid of what is inside of us. Whatever darkness we see is just an absence of light inside. When we shine light on the dark places the darkness gradually, as we embrace it, becomes filled with light, and our burdens our released. At least that's what I'm working on!!! But you know, the healing can be painful sometimes, like I said before.
Thank you for asking about my sitch !! After being totally pitch black dark for almost 5 months my man contacted me las tweek (he sent me a package), and then I called him (I know I am SO brave) and we had a good little light, friendly conversation where we both laughed a lot. He sounded happy and excited to hear from me. I am amazed... I thought he would still be in the 'letting go of anger' stage, so I feel like we fastforwarded through months of prickliness. So maybe we are on the cusp of stage 2, "friendship"? It is all very exciting, disorienting, crazy after having no contact at all since October!!
Keep us posted on all your developments!!! (((HUGS TO YOU))) Transformer
We haven't met but I just wanted to let you know I loved what you said about separation is a tool to open a clogged drain! And your Confucious quote is great... I think I need to copy it down and look at it frequently!!!
!! After being totally pitch black dark for almost 5 months my man contacted me las tweek (he sent me a package), and then I called him (I know I am SO brave) and we had a good little light, friendly conversation where we both laughed a lot. He sounded happy and excited to hear from me. I am amazed... I thought he would still be in the 'letting go of anger' stage, so I feel like we fastforwarded through months of prickliness. So maybe we are on the cusp of stage 2, "friendship"? It is all very exciting, disorienting, crazy after having no contact at all since October!!