Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? H never came back 5

that sounds wonderful Michelle! I hope your dinner turns out fabulous! I also bet your H will be dying when he sees you in the corset!

Well, I'm home. And no pants to the wind. Hell he didn't even bother to notice what I wore. Although he commented on how cute the waitress was. Gee thanks. Glad you like the corset. Although I had said I was meeting up with a friend after (true, but fell through) so H made a big to-do about how I had a date - alright so I was going to meet up with a guy, but seriously, wouldn't have bothered trying on the corset for anyone else. At any rate, my later plans fell though, so my night consisted of dinner with H, drinks with H, more drinks with H, back to his place, watching a movie sobering up, him kicking me out, nothing remotely f'in romantic/sexy despite the corset (and my good mood from a couple weeks ago has DEFINITELY worn off), and me going home cuz he was tired. WTF?????????????????????

Not to mention, no R talk whatsoever. No mention of OW, whatsoever. Ack! I wasn't even wearing a bra for god's sake! How much more could I possibly say pay attention to ME!?!

He was chatty and polite. But definitely VERY distant compared to a couple weeks ago. I don't think the night could have possibly been more frustrating.

On the plus side, we did have a nice dinner and I got the leftovers. *headdesk*

Did I mention I hate this whole celibacy thing????

Michelle,

maybe he did notice but he didn't want you to know...
Maybe he was "headesking" afterwards...

I am sorry it was frustrating... But it did sound as if he wasn't in a hurry to cut the night short though...

Hope today is better,

K

Try a different corset next time, one with no "cups" on...

Right there with you ...

Hey Michelle!
Well, I think there were alot of positives there? I know it didnt go the way you hoped, but I suppose hes not just going to jump back in as though this was all a bad dream. Goes back to that thing, patience!! I think he is still feeling you out, Jeff will explain it better than me no doubt, so lets wait for him!

But..he wanted to meet you, he met you for dinner AND drinks AND back to his place, AND a film, so the date must have lasted hours?? And he seemed withdrawn you say? Well he must have alot on his mind and be very confused, but clearly he does miss you and is beginning to let you in a bit more...think back, you werent even getting a friendly IM chat with him before, now you are sprawled on his bed watching movies! Thats amazing.

Plus, his R with Slasher cant be great, or maybe it is over, or anyway, cant be a committed loving R if he voluntarily spends the whole evening with you. And I bet she would go nuts if she knew..and how great is that, that as soon as shes jetted out the country, hes on the IM to you and arranging to meet up! He didnt even leave it a few days or a week or two..she'd only just left! He must have been desperate to see you but perhaps is scared and feeling a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.

Just keep being your non-pressuring fun self ie: not a childish slasher drama queen...

Ali xxx
PS: Shame about the corset, but I bet he DID notice. He just didnt tell you. Sounds like he was a bit worried/jealous/ticked off anyway as he thought you were wearing it for another man and not him!? Sounds like you telling him you had plans later with a guy backfired perhaps? Maybe dont tell him stuff like that! Lie! Do you think thats why he made a fuss about the waitress? Kind of act as if I care you're going on a date? I bet he was bothered. Maybe thats why he was a bit moody at his place? I mean, if it bothered him, he could hardly tell you, and he's got no legs to stand on there seeing as he had spent time with slasher.
______________
Me: 37 H: 34
T: 9 years
IDLYA: 2 Nov 07
Own flat: 26 Jan 08
will he reconnect?

Well, I had mentioned that my plan was to drive out there, have dinner and hang out with H, meet up with friend for a beer, then go line dancing. Neither of the last two happened. And this friend is someone that while H has never met him for any length of time, I have been friends with since my freshman year of college and has never been anything more. Which is why I found H's reaction and calling it a date so puzzling. I remembered one thing that was funny - H wasn't sure he wanted me to drive over to the place we had originally planned to meet up, so H told me I should ask my friend to come to where we were, even suggested he join us. Which I did end up suggesting, but didn't happen as moving took longer than he expected.

Yes, there were a lot of positives. Although I was the one who suggested dinner, he didn't hesitate to accept. And I probably spent six hours with him!

Oh, and I had made my other plans before asking H to dinner. But since I figured he was gonna be a bit uncomfortable about the OW situation, I thought having a more set end time with me having other plans might be less pressure on him. But Ali, you made a very good point. He did act weird about the whole thing and probably was bothered and trying to dig for info.

A couple other things that occurred to me: he didn't hug me when he got to the restaurant. He did hug me when I went to leave, twice, and I kissed his neck the first time.

Hey Michelle,

Like the neck kiss. It sounds great that you and H spent so much time together, and I think ali is right- he did notice the corset but just didn't say anything. Let him think about it- it'll get all the more sexy in his head while you're not there!

Hope you're having a great day!

L.xx

Things sound like they are moving along in the right direction. He won't see the OW again until June, right?? So you have that in your favor for sure.

I think you are doing great (leaps and bounds better than I am at the moment). I WANT to look sexy, but I am so sick right now. It is hard to look sexy in sweats and a T-shirt.

Sara