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Luv ya little sis!!!

Cinders, you sound really good! I am glad to see you started a new thread.

Hope you have a wonderful Easter!

Cinders,

I am so happy that you are on your way to finding peace for yourself.



Honey, baby steps don't apply just to your R, but to your own growth as well. This is a stage, and you will get past it. Right now, you need some space from him, and regardless of what happens in the future, you need this time to get beyond those feelings of anger and pain. Don't beat yourself up for still feeling that way - it really is okay!

Happy Easter, and I hope this time of rebirth is good for you.

Love,
Nicola

Thank you so much to all of you, it's wonderful to come back and read so many loving and positive responses !

I do feel that Easter - and this lightbulb moment have come together for a reason for me. I like it.

I had a wonderful day home with the kids, then my brother picked the girls up and took one of them to my parents and one of them to my sister's ! The girls are there for the night and my son and I will meet up with them all tomorrow morning again at my parent's house to celebrate Easter.

My MIL called today, she was so incredibly sweet. Told me she just wanted to call, and speak to me, cause it was going to be so weird without me coming over for Easter and all. I told her that I still love them very much and that this is best for me now, just some peace and quiet. She understands and even thinks the same (spoke of how she had needed it too, when all this happened to her).

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter and I will be lurking around some....just checking up on some 'old' friends ! xxx

Well, MIL just called to let me know the kids and H are on their way home....we spoke a while...she tried to talk to H, but he is CERTAIN that ow is the one for him. He told his mother that we will NOT get back together. She said that she feels terrible because she will turn 70 this summer and she wanted me there, but H says that he will bring ow !

I feel that at the moment, even though, I know that things are the way they are....I am being hit with swords, one after the other....and sometimes I don't think that I will be able to take it much longer. I pray for strength, but have none.
I cannot believe that H is SO very happy and in love with ow ! She must be WONDERFUL.

I know...it may not have anything to do with her.

But even so, I will not be anything like her in his eyes. I am the one he dumped and got hurt by, fed up with and left.

Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself today.
What else can one do when your heart feels torn into a million pieces again, when all you feel is that you are being replaced in even the areas where you thought you never would be..what if one day he says that he thinks ow will be a better mother to our children and then takes away the kids from me?

I know that God is supposed to stand right next to us through all of this, and he probably is trying to teach me the best of lessons, but does he not see, how much pain they bring ?

I sit here crying, and doubting myself as a mother, as a person, as a wife...

I'm sorry guys, I just needed to vent...none of this is useful.

(((((Cinders)))))

This is useful to you. You can get it out of your system here so that you can take action. What action? Whatever action you need to take. If nothing else to know that you are a wonderful mother and person. Whatever you did or did not do as a wife is in the past. You can't change it. Just know that you are seen and cherished here.

Grace, thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me to hear today.

It is unbelievably hard to know what to do and where to go from here.

How to just let go of all those years, and accept that I am now 'replaced' for the years to come for part of my family time.

It's a real killer...

I have tried to google 'how to deal with this'....but of course there is NO easy answer, we just have to take it day by day.

Life hurts at the moment.

I had it easy compared to most of you. ow entered the picture very late in the story - at least into my family...but now...well, now I am feeling all that you have all felt and I have great respect for all you mom's out there (and dad's) and just people that have had to deal with this !

It is useful to get it out.

You ever wonder if all the martyred saints wondered where God was, as they were being stoned, pierced with swords or arrows or being burned alive?

I have heard all growing up, "God gives us what we can handle."

It sucks, but I believe it is true.



Well, I don't see that happening, but if it seems like it will, you eviscerate him.

(((Cinders))))
I am sorry for your pain...but please know that even if your worst nightmare comes true and your H and the ow remain together, you will be okay. Your children will always love you and NO ONE will ever replace you to them. You will be happy again. I speak from experience...I have had to watch my kids go off with my XH and the OW since they were babies...it was devastating (and at times it is still hard) but little by little, I have let go...Little by little, I got healthy and whole...and I found love again (it is just unfortunate that I seem to pick men with issues since I am going through this again). Regardless of what happens with your M, please know you will be fine...you are beautiful person that has so much to offer to not just your children, but to so many.

Hang in there Cinders. You are going to be okay.

<3
Upside

Jack - thank you, I have heard that saying many times too...starting to wonder whether I really can handle it all, but I am going to trust HIM on this....
Thanks for popping in today, I needed a man's voice here.

Upside, I am so sorry that you TOO have gone through all this, it's just like I said, so many have had to do this before me, yet I seem to be such a wreck about it. Thank you for your encouraging words. They mean so much, especially now.

Thank you for both your kindness and love, I am ever greatful for it.