Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Popping over from Newbies...seperated 2 months

Jen,
You did great today. The fact that H invited you to go to the club and the kiss on the cheek are definitely positives. Let him bring it up again tomorrow and don't sound overly excited if he does invite you.

Well he came and got D. I don't think they're going to the club. He has no idea what they'll do for sure. Something about going to have some breakfast and see Horton (in Spanish - Yuck!). He didn't ask me along and that's fine becasue he only gets to see her on Sundays whereas she's with me all week.

I might go see a movie myself if there's anything interesting playing (movies are released here later to allow time to add subtitles).

Jen

D said last night something that I would never expect from a 6 year old.

She said "sometimes when people are together they fight and sometimes the only thing to stop the fighting is to seperate." I asked if Daddy told her that and she said "no I thought of it all by myself."

So how does a 6YO become so wise? It's amazing that people tell us "the children will be ok" We know that everytime our kids tell us things like what D said that they are more affected by our sitchs than we'll ever know and will NOT be ok.

Jen

I went to see The Mistress of The Spices today and then bought myself a pink quartz pendant. The crystal is supossed to bring about happiness, compassion and love.

Jen

"Rose quartz placed in one's environment, emits a calming energy to gently remove negativity from our aura and stimulate the wonderful frequencies of love in our lives. It is a healing crystal for the Heart Chakra, bringing inner comfort in the process of emotional releases. The soft pink of Rose Quartz soothes the heart center as it balances the love energy with cool, calm vibrations. It teaches that the source of love comes from within, how we must learn to love and nurture ourselves. Rose Quartz is an excellent gift for expressing love and will positively affect whomever it is given to."

She is amazing! Kiss and hug your wise little girl from me, please!

I will

My D6 comes up with whoppers like that, too.

Jen, I think you're doing well. You definitely sound like a lot of the anger is gone. Once the anger goes it's easier to look at the whole relationship. I realized that I had a lot of culpability for our problems.

Also when your H cried and opened up a bit about counseling, I think you had a good reaction. You just let him say what he wanted to say without probing him for more. It really helps to let your H feel like it's safe to say things to you. This was something I really had to learn and hope that I'm keeping it level.

Keep it level around him. Let him feel it's OK to stop by without being afraid of your reaction. Let him feel your strength, don't "show" it to him.

Jen,

It's harder to keep up with you now that you've moved from Newcomers.

It seems you are becoming more patient. This is key to DB. It's good you did a couple of things for yourself - you went to see a movie and you bought yourself a beautiful rose quartz pendant. If nothing else, it will inspire some positive feelings each time you look at it.

Thanks CW and Addie

I moved over here to seperated even though its a slower board because I don't feel like a Newbie anymore. I guess it's only been 2 months but we are seperated. Still I did like the Newbie board

I think much of the anger is gone and I learned a lot from the outburst I had Holy Week. Anger is not going to help or solve anything. Patience and a PMA will help me a lot.

I'm still sorting through my issues and finding ways to help stop my bad habits from affecting my life and M.

Thanks for checking up on me and giving me the encouragement I need.

Jen

The rose quartz gift to yourself is great. About a month ago, I bought myself a "strength" pendant and I love it. I can be strong, I will be strong. You will have compassion, be happy and be loved.