Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Worried I found DB too late #2

I think it would keep it neutral. Like you said, it's something that I'd say to any other member, so it's not a negative. For my own sanity, I would need to take the opportunity to let her know that I work there in case she runs into H and thinks it's a good place to start things up. Of course, I know that she might not even feel this way, but I know that she and her husband are not together anymore so I'm worried that she might try to strike up a friendship with him again.

My 2 cents, will it make any difference or impact on your R with H if you make it known to her that you know her? Knowing that you have admitted some over critical moments with your H do you think that he would perceive it differently?

At this point, I would focus my energy on events that create positive momentum on the R and nothing else. Don't let insecurity or fear dictate your actions because the responses can be perceived differently than you expect.

I don't think he'd ever know, for one. This is just between us girls. And if I just keep it to the one comment and he were to find out, I don't think it would matter. I think he'd understand and it would be a 180 for me to just say one thing to her, not tell him and leave it at that.

One more good thing from the weekend:

H has this great newer hoodie sweatshirt which he offered up to me last week when I was cold and I fell in love with it right when I put it on. Yesterday I joked about my "new" sweatshirt and wore it to the park with the kids and took it off when we returned home. He wore it later. Then when he went to leave I saw it on the dryer and jokingly grabbed it, telling him I was scooping it up before he could take it with him to the apartment and he said that he took it off and left it there for me. A little thing, but very cute.

Ah, the rollercoaster of feelings. Things were fine today, it's not like anything changed, but in the last hour I've been bombarded with negative thoughts. H called to say goodnight to the kids and I answered the phone. I asked him how he was and in his usual joking self he said, "Just livin' the dream, CW68." To which I replied, "Yep, this is the dream. It's all right here in our hands, it's the bomb." And he replied, "Life could be worse." He's right. I also think it might get worse, for good.

Then as I was doing the whole bathing, making beds, cleaning up thing I realized that this is probably it. I'm probably going to be doing this by myself forever and pretty soon my H won't even be here to help as much as he does.

Put D6 to bed and she said that she's never going to let me go like Dad did. I told her she had nothing to do with that and, regardless, I'm here for the long haul. Then she told me she thought Dad and I would live apart for a long time before we got back together. I had to tell her that that probably won't happen because I don't want her to get up false hopes. She follows that with, "You're easier to talk to about this than Dad because you have more skills." Hmmm. Out of the mouths of babes.

I'm trying to remember that things have been better. Baby steps. I gotta stop thinking too far ahead of myself and just take things as they come.

Time for a movie to escape tonight.

CW,

Put the sweatshirt on and think nice thoughts. Things are going well. Put pleasant thoughts in your mind and a smile on your face, and let him know you appreciate his leaving the sweatshirt for you. That is a nice thing, and he didn't have to do it. You are allowing negative thoughts to infiltrate and they will lead you away from your goal. The bad news is you have to compete for your husband. The good news is, you've won this game before. You can do it again.

Thanks Sara. Unfortunately, the sweatshirt's dirty (Is that why he left it? hehehe jk) and is in the washer.

I do have to compete for him. I have won this before. As my D6 said, I've got skills!

I really am off here tonight. nighty night everyone

cw, I know how you feel. You're not alone.

The negative thoughts just creep in like an evening fog, and before you know it....you're surrounded.

Hopefully - for both of us - better days are ahead.

*hug*

Aren't 6YO little girls the cutest things? Of course 5YO little boys come close too

Jen

OK, this is weird. I thought THEY were the ones who were supposed to get cold feet after making a step forward? Not that I expected the world to change direction after ML or anything, but I didn't expect me to be somewhat depressed again. I woke up sad that my H doesn't love me anymore, that he doesn't want to live with me, that a large part of him thinks divorcing me is going to make him happier. You think I could just revel in the baby steps we're making, but NOOOO.

So, it's PMA and I'm not going to let myself sink into this well of pity. I went to give him an April Fool's joke, but he didn't answer his phone. The plan was to tell him that I don't think he should come over tonight as we talked about yesterday, but instead stick to our agreement about custody. APRIL FOOL'S.