Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Worried I found DB too late #2

Wow, CW, that's great! My H was affectionate and kissy in the beginning of this drama, but now it has dwindled down to nothing. I can't picture him coming back at all.

I guess I can picture him coming back. Still don't know if it will happen, but I do see the chance, however small.

Pulled into the garage this morning and H opens the door right away. Granted, he was standing at the dryer which is on the other side of the garage door, but he didn't wait for me to come in to sa hello. I've been in the same position when things were tense and I would just put off the greeting until the last minute possible, so at least I know he's in a comfortable spot with me.

Just got an email about a movie that came from Netflix yesterday. I thought it was the 3rd Bourne movie and told him, "Darn, I want to get caught up with these movies; I still haven't seen the second one." and his email just said that he wanted me know it was the 2nd movie, not the third. Unnecessary email. I like that!

Tonight we had my daughter's open house and the school talent show. Got a few things out of it: 1) my daughter's teacher is simply awesome, 2) I enjoy being a family and 3) when my daughter is in 6th grade she will not go on stage in front of a couple hundred people in ripped fishnet stockings, boxers and layered tank tops with her bra straps hanging off of her shoulders "trying" to club dance to Sean Paul.

H was great tonight, btw. Reached out to me a few times, kissed me softly and more than once and told me that he's "getting closer" to us getting intimate. All good stuff!

Wow, cw...looks like the tide may be starting to turn!

I'm happy for you. Just remember. Don't do too much, too fast.

Thanks for the reminder MM. I'm really trying to take it slow. It really is like dating all over again. I didn't rush into anything then, I'm trying not to rush into anything now.

On Sunday night I called my W "my new girlfriend" a few times. She finally asked why I am calling her that. I said that's exactly what I feel she is to me right now...a girl I am dating, who admittedly I am trying to impress, and with whom the future is a question mark.

She thought that was cute, and said "OK, I guess you can call me that".

Take it slow, yes you are just dating now.

CW - Don't pull a Fish LOL. One step at a time, seems to me that you are making progress.

Luckily I don't fish. Don't even own a single fishing pole.

Yep, just little steps of progress. I keep telling myself that and I actually do believe it. Just have to prepare myself for the times where I'll feel totally frustrated and want to slip up AND for the times where H pulls back because they are going to happen, I know it. I'm trying to look ahead and not right at my feet.

Cw--it sounds like he is on his way back for sure. That's great. When were you and he last intimate? How did the intimacy dwindle (if you don't mind me asking.)

My H doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because he's worried I will use it as "proof" that he has the right feelings for me, which he adamantly does not. It's been about 3 months and it gets harder and harder to imagine going there ever again. I have started to become self conscious about changing in front of him. Very weird.

Do you attribute his turnaround to your DBing or his time away, or both? Did he say the ILYBINILWY (I forget)?

I don't think he's on his way back for sure. I think it's just that he hasn't completely closed the door on us.

We were last "intimate" before we got the apartment and haven't been since the middle of January. Our sex life was great up until the week he moved out, that's never been a problem for us. The last time we had sex was awesome and very moving for both of us because we knew our relationship was headed in a brand-new direction. However, we've talked about why we stopped having sex and it was so that he could separate his physical feelings for me from his emotional feelings. I want to get that started again because I believe they are intertwined. We still hug and kiss hello/goodbye every time we see each other.

I think most of the turnaround is due to me DBing because it allows him the time and space to think as well as being a positive force for me. Before he moved out, I wasn't DBing and think that if I would have been we might have been able to avoid the separation.

Oh yeah, I got the ILYBNILWY thing the night he dropped the bomb. And a few times since.