Regarding the wine, I think with my W, it is just enough to loosen her up. It reduces her inhibitions, which causes her to want to tell me what's on her mind. I think it is the "real" her. But I know she's gotta do what she's gotta do, and that's where I just need to be patient...
Keep posting, Treeman, we can all learn from each other, and we all want to help!
My W aslo " losens up" after a few glasses and as a cop i will say yes thats who shee realy is. its my W without the anxsiety and the unsureness. she drops her guard and lets herseld relax.
BT i will re-read your posts but i know moving out is what she wanted. is that something you can do to work on the M and creat a space to heal?
Mink and Marcus, My W is very depressed so drink and depression do not mix well. She gets nasty and that is not the real her. Physical separation is what she wanted but I have been advise because of her depression and anger issues that it would be dangerous for our kids. My kids do not want me to move out but would like it if she did. She has been advised by her L not to move out. We are at a standstill. She said this morning that we need to seperate. I said nothing. I do not want to move out and would be afriad for my kids. We have discussed splitting time at an apartment but i think that would be very confusing for the kids and us. I wish we could just work this thing out. If she would just be kinder and speak nicer it would go a long way. She is in a ton of pain. She again told a MC today that she did not love me. The MC called me back and said that basically what she was saying was she did not love herself, therefore it was hard to love anyone. Thanks for your support.
BT i realise your love for your kidds makes you stay, but if you get divorced wont she fight for joint costody? she will have time with the kidds anyway unless you try to get full costody which as a man is VERY hard. i would recomend you moving out. and tell her when you do its because you want to give her space and you respect her enought to do what she asks. right now it seem she is asking you for something and you are not giving it to her, so in sure in her mind she is being pressured byu you no matter how many arguments you avoid.
I can't stand the thought of moving out and not being with my kids. Not fun. My view is this is her issue, she should move out and sow her wild oats. i am so sick of this sh**, I just want my old life back or start a new one. This is BS! So childish it makes me sick.
do you realy want her to " go sow her oats" come on BT your getting frustrated my friend and i realise that. She mabey the childish one but thats why your here and shes not. if you get a new life one of you will move out so no matter what it seems the course of action for now at least is one of you moving. you are the one fight ing for the marrage so take the hight ground my friend and make the changes needed. she wont ot if she does it will be to the extreem. I know its childish but it is what it is for now. mabey after a few weeks days months she will have taken the time to heal and see the changes in you.
right noe she is to close to you so any chage you do make will be overshadowed by her preconseved notions. the ball is in your court mow. you dont want to loose her in thr long run so makw changes in the short time that my be painfull , or they may pauy off. also if God forbid it does not help then you will be in a better position to have a fresh start.
Out GALing again tonight. i am starting to get good at this. i did have a nice dinner with w and s12 and then went out. great conversations and just good all around fun.
my wife is drowning face. i can not wait til she hits rock bottom so i can be there to pick her up and give her the love that she needs. My family is dieing for me to leave her and her family realy loves me but see's the one sided stories that she tells and wants her out also. she is in a deep fog that is not clearing soon, it is very sad. How long to wait and how much to put up with are the BIG questions.
BT - if she didn't care, she wouldn't read it. So, either she cares and has read it, or doesn't care and hasn't read a thing.
Either way there is nothing you can do about it!
You are making great strides and need to keep moving forward...whatever that may look like.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
