Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? NikB #25

Just wanted to say Hi. You look great. I'm glad your party turned out well.

ur welcome! and ya, your eye color is awesome. so many people have a mixture color, you know, and yours is just such a true brown, it's cool. especially having blonde hair, that's totally unique.

ya, definitely email that to me. thanks!

Hey, hope your week at work went well. TGIF!

hey nik, i don't post to you (if ever!) but i've been following your sitch since the get-go.

just a ^5 from a lurker for all the progress on YOU.

- and I went to the library yesterday and found the BFL book - and I'd never heard of it before you, so thanks for sharing. I have no true 'weight' issues, but after going to the website and seeing the testimonies, etc. it was enough to have me interested in learning more. so thanks.

hope your having a great weekend!

Hi all - thanks!! I'll reply more later but really limited on time right now. Just wanted to say thank you. Oh, and I had a GREAT weekend (R and non-R stuff). Hope everyone's doing well.

NikB,

Is that R = Race or R = Relationship???

Glad ya had a good time. Ya I was thinking about driving by but didn't want to make the other drivers car's to look bad in front of their fan's when I pulled up in my jeep

Hope ya got some Pic's

Dr Love

Nik
GLad to here you had a good weekend

JAK

Hey all,

OK time for an update! I guess it's good when you're too busy GAL to post much eh? (also been trying to help some on other threads where I can..).

Blindsided
Thanks! I'm glad it turned out so well, too.

ST
Aw thanks!! My hair is err..umm... not exactly my natural color.. . Although that WAS my natural color until I turned about 26. Then all of a sudden it started to get VERY dark. I tried leaving it that way for awhile but it looked WAY too dark with my light skin tone so I started coloring it.

I emailed ya all the Invisalign stuff - saw you got it, and will reply soon!

Michelle, ST, jak
Thanks! Had a really great weekend. I'll post more shortly.

H
Thank you! haha I guess R as in both now that you mention it. Your jeep would fit right in! Although might not be a great track car, thinking it's more meant for hills than corners. I didn't take any pics because my camera's in the car the whole time (we use my digital camera for the in car video) - but, I did get video that I'll be sure to post soon!

belieiving_isaiah43
Wow, thanks for stopping in! (and for following my sitch all this time, too). I am so excited that you found BFL and may give it a try! Honestly the people who have the best results, in my opinion, are those who didn't have much weight to lose but really needed to tone up. Those pics sure inspire me on that site.

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If I got into every detail of the weekend this would be a record length post even for me so I will just go over some highlights, but all in all it was a great weekend.

I don't know how to explain it exactly, but sometime last week I felt like H and I both just RELAXED a little bit. Not in a bad way, but in a healthy way. Who knows, it could be all on my side, but I really don't think so. I can't even pinpoint what "caused" it to happen but it just seems like we got a lot more comfortable around each other AND comfortable opening up more. No, no big "talk" or anything, just a feeling.

So some of the highlights.. I got to do a little 180 on Saturday. We had to leave ridiculously early for the racetrack. Normally I am scrambling at the last minute to get finished packing and stuff. I DO get done on time but I'm rushing, and H is getting upset thinking I'm going to make us late. This time, did all the grocery shopping on Weds., all the laundry and clothes packing on Thurs, and the last minute stuff Friday. Saturday was literally heat up the breakfast burritos that I made earlier in the week, get in the car, and go. Much less stressful all the way around (and H thanked me a lot for that).

I was VERY anxious because I knew his mom and sis were coming down later in the day. We talked about it briefly early in the week and H said his mom was anxious as well. I asked why and he said "She thinks you hate her or something." I said "I don't hate her, but I sure could say I feel like she has some problem with me." H said she didn't. I said "Then it makes no sense to me, why blatantly exclude me from two Christmas dinners, not even acknowledge me when she came to the house to see your car...?" He said "She's afraid because she thinks you hate her."

????? Makes NO sense to me but whatever. So I was nervous to see her.

We got to the track and I got to go on the first two runs of the day - basically 20 minutes around the track with H driving. Very fun!! It takes my breath away every time, it's fun and terrifying all at the same time. My H is an EXCELLENT driver though, I swear he must've been born with it in his blood. So even heading for walls at 100 MPH.. well, somehow I have total confidence in him and know he'll make the turn.

I'll have to post the video on YouTube - we had a crazy spinout happen right in front of us, closest we've come to hitting another car (which is a BIG no-no in the driving school). I was very impressed with how H handled it and the fact that we missed the cars.

We were literally sitting in line to go out on the track for the second run when his sis and mom showed up. Sis ran up to the car to say hi, talked to us both a bit... his mom stood back with her arms crossed. Grreeeat. When we got back we were waiting for the driver's meeting (they meet after each session to discuss what went well, any problems, what to learn from, etc... technically it's a school to get his license, not actual racing yet). MIL was standing way back, SIL was trying to make conversation... H finally said "I'm just going to break the ice here. No one hates each other." SIL says "I never thought that, just Mom did." OMG.. awkward!!! I kind of shook my head and said "No, no reason to hate anyone." Caught me WAY off guard.

Thankfully the driver meeting started right then... we all went and listened too. By the time that was over things were less strained and we were able to at least hang out and have some small talk the rest of the day.

SIL went out the next time with H, poor MIL already gets nervous with H on the track - now BOTH her kids are in the car together?? She did OK, I didn't even think she'd be able to watch. SIL is now hooked and wants to take the driving school. Someday I may get that brave...

The rest of the day was pretty good and we all enjoyed the free BBQ (provided by the race school) that night. H did fairly well but spun out once. Frustrating as he's trying to get moved up to the next level and any mistake like that lowers his chances. I watched him from the stands for awhile and he is SO MUCH better than the rest at his level, and about half the people in the next level up... so I think he's ready. By Sunday PM the instructors agreed and he got signed off, so that was a big deal for him. Nice to share that and he was excited to tell me about it.

Sunday I only got to go on the first run as other people wanted rides, but still had a lot of fun. (and got a ride from his friend later on in the day, too).

Third session on Sunday... I was up in the stands timing H, and the worst accident I've seen yet happened right in front of me (way down below me, but I literally had THE closest view anyone could have had without being on the track). I'll preface this by saying that the driver is OK but probably VERY sore this week, and lucky he had airbags.

So.. the guy started to lose it coming out of a turn - no big deal, they're supposed to put "two feet in" (push the brake and clutch all the way down). If they do that, they just slide til friction stops them - he would have slid right up the hill and been fine. Instead he tried to save it by hitting the gas. It would have worked if he was facing the right way but he wasn't - when his tires finally caught traction his car was turned towards the wall.. he was full throttle the whole time... I could hear him accelerate right into the wall, likely at around 80-90 MPH at that point. OMG. I almost threw up when I heard the bang. I knew H was right around the corner based on the lap timer. Thankfully he saw the debris flying all over the place and slowed WAY down and missed the guy. It's kind of "racecar driver code" to immediately wave out the window to show you're ok. No wave... the guy was slumped over and not moving. I waited til the emergency people got to his car and could hear them trying to talk to him with no answer.. I was freaking out. The pace car took everyone around the track really slow a couple times in hopes of clearing the track and letting them finish their session - I had started back to H's truck by that time but he said during that whole 10 minutes, they passed him a couple of times, and the guy hadn't moved. SOOO scary.

I went back to meet H where the driver meetings are, and by the time I got there the guy's car was being towed back. The entire front end was squished to about 2 feet wide. Front left wheel and part of the axle completely ripped off. REALLY badly damaged. It was a very new car, probably about a $40k car... money wise sucks for the guy, but I am SO GLAD that it was a newer car and had airbags. The instructors said the same thing.. used this as a HUGE example of why they need to listen and follow all the safety rules and such. They didn't confirm the guy was OK for awhile - I think they didn't know for sure, all they knew is he was unconscious. He did go to the hospital but had been up walking around and talking to people (albeit in a daze) for a bit before that, I guess.

Anyway.. I was standing there a little shaken and looking at the car when H got there. He rushed over to me and gave me a huge hug, asked me if I was OK. I told him I was standing right above where the accident happened and he hugged me again and just held me for a bit. We didn't talk a lot about it, but a bit about how scary it was and how worried we were for the driver. He held my hand and/or had his arm around me for that whole driver meeting. Pretty big reality check about what they were out there doing, I think. I mean yeah you sign several waivers and such but you don't really think about it, ya know?

They had one more session after that - boy was everyone cautious on their driving!! That session H did great, and that's when he got signed off for the next level (one level away from his license now).

I'm not even sure how to explain the "relaxed" feeling I meant - but all weekend H was laughing, smiling, comfortable around me, even flirting with me some. I kept tellin him how hot he looked in his driving suit (before seeing that accident I had joked "too bad it'd be dangerous to mess with ya on the track!" .. eek, realized that was not funny!). When we got back Sunday night it was kinda late but H was really wanting to make sure we had our traditional steak dinner together - so I ran to the store while he unpacked everything. You'd think I had done some amazing feat by how thankful he was for me going to the store, it was almost strange.

Monday night H was again very flirty, very sweet, we had a lot of good conversation.. nothing heavy, but hey, I'll take "comfortable conversation" right now gladly! We worked on the racecar together for a bit - I did some cosmetic stuff while he did anything that required mechanical skill.. . Had fun doing that together... and had more fun later that night when he "modeled" his driving suit for me.. .

Last night I had bellydance class - ugh, she about killed us last night!! Went about 15 minutes longer than normal and I thought my legs were going to collapse under me by the time we were done. But, I kept up, so I was proud of that. Went to dinner with a friend after that, and had a great time.

Only weird thing this week is I'm kinda anxious about Valentine's day. Things are going MUCH better but... not exactly "normal" either. I know we're ALL having weird Valentine's days, though.. trying to just not worry about it too much. Last year my very first meetup was a Valentine's Day dinner.. wow, amazing to think how much has changed.

Gotta run but... thanks for anyone who made it through my very long update!!

OMG, that's awesome! I was hoping the no news was good news. I'm glad you had such a fantastic weekend. It sounds like things are really going amazingly well. That's so awesome on his progress towards his license (and that he avoided all those accidents). And I'm glad things are more relaxed/comfortable with you two. The progress just seems really amazing.

I wonder if it has to do with making it through the time frames of the bombs before? That maybe you two were both holding your breath a bit.

Good luck with Valentine's Day. It definitely is weird to have all these holidays come and go with such a different perspective - you definitely don't make as many assumptions or take anything for granted.