So, still no word from H. While I appreciate that he may be pulling back for a number of reasons (dumping OW, freaking out / having second thoughts over telling me he might want to work on our M) I kinda want to send a feeler out.
We both have a TV show that we watch periodically, and a new episode was on last night that was quite good. I was thinking about shooting him an e-mail asking if he saw it and commenting on a couple things that happened. No R stuff, just chit chat with no real response required.
Thoughts?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Don't do it. Don't give him an opening, if he is stressing and you contact him, there is his release. Wait for him to contact you. Thats just my 2 cents. As you well know, even an innocent attempt at contact can sometimes turn into a huge amount of drama if H needs to blow off some emotional steam about the other areas of his life.
Its his party, let him wear his hat by himself. A good dose of reality is just what he needs. Have a thin mint and wait.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I agree....keep waiting. I KNOW it is hard. It is even harder once they show a glimmer of hope. Right now he may see you contacting him as pressure....let OW be pressure right now.
While I think her being there will be a good dose of reality for them...I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that he may not break it off. I don't want to be a downer, but for whatever reason it seems they don't want to "hurt" the OW's feelings...(even though it was so easy for them to hurt us). Even if he wants to he may not get up the nerve to.
Just keep doing what you are doing. No contact was good before...keep doing what works. Just because you aren't talking to him doesn't mean he isn't thinking about you or your situation.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
No, not conflict avoider, just actually working, out of internet range!
My first inclination is to wait, but I really understand why you don't want to!
I think, all things considered, that you could send an email that really didn't suggest a response was needed, but then, guess what, you probably wouldn't get a response!
I'm flopping like a fish on this, hmmmm, I fall on the wait side, in the end. There will be another opportunity. He is probably really struggling right now, one way or the other. He may eventually move away from the pressure (OW) to the calm (you).
I agree with the waiting strategy too- maybe draft the e-mail but don't send it yet. In principle I don't think a non-pressuring friendly e-mail would hurt, but NC has worked before and he'll definitely be thinking about you and the conversation you had a couple of weeks ago.
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
Well, if I don't send the e-mail today it's kinda pointless. Lol. Sometime next week..."you remember the new episode of [show] that was on last Wednesday..."
While I agree that giving him his space and periods of NC have given him productive time to think, H has been making all the contact in the last month or thereabouts. So, when does it become my turn? I certainly wouldn't expect any of my other friends and family to be the one always initiating contact...
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
