Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Letting go...

hey Kiki, what a wonderful post! thank you so much for putting it up, wish I would've listen sooner and not have suffered so much



BTDT, this is my sitch in a nutshell, was holding onto my toxic H who did nothing but hurt me and wrong me no matter how much love, patience, compassion I gave him.

There is a time when enough is enough, I was feeling bad earlier today, had I said this and that at xyz times perhaps things would've been different. IT WAS HIM, he should've had the spine to fight for me and our M and our kids....

Vali,
Thank you , my dear. You are right ..it is all about letting go.

His lawyer told mine .he is just not cooperating.

I guess, Im bothered because my hands are tied behind my back.

I am LETTING GO!!!!!! thanks Vali!

Hey Cat..I have read your posts for a long time. Thanks for stoppingby.

Toxic? It is funny you saythat. it makes me ill to deal with H sometimes.



Exactly!

hey kiki, I lurk here, mostly stay at the D forum since that's where I'm heading and I might've as well start learning to extricate H from my life totally.

Good girl!

Honey, this won't last forever...I promise

We'll get through, Kiki...we are strong...we are becoming stronger...we CAN do this.

(((((((((((((((((((Kiki))))))))))))))))))))))))

Smooch!
V

" I Will Survive" and we will, Vali.

I had to speak to H about finances and D7 today since the divorce is in June now.

I told H that we needed to figure things out because it looks like we are never going to end this.


H said we would probably never get divorce sarcastically.

I told H I needed his help with hD7 and more financial help.


H thinks everything he does is fine. H thinks he spends alot of time with D7. It's like he doesnt live in this reality.

H said he gives me money for child support , not Liz support.

H is not nice. H just hears what he wants to hear.

H told me he is numb to me. He can care less about me.

I told him he treats me as he hates me. We cannot even communicate about D7. H is very defensive.

H said he couldn't hate me, that would mean he would have to have a feeling for me.

Everytime I mention something he thinks I am blaming him.

I told H it would be better if all communication went through the attys. I told him I loved and cared for him but this has exhausted me.

I told him after 16 yrs of being together he has blocked everything out.

H responds:

That was the worst mistake I will ever make. THat is the only way I see it.

I just didn't respond. it is just plain mean.Not normal.

H came this morning to drop off D7 . H stood in my classroom. i couldnt even look at him. He asked me a question about our D's chapel.

I just told him i didnt know.

He sat in the church looking rough. i wonder if he ever feels convicted?

WOW KK I NEVER REALIZED HOW NASTY YOUR H IS TO YOU....THOSE ARE HORRIBLE THINGS...HAVE YOU EVER READ BND'S EMAILS FROM HER H??

Hi A new2moro,

i think I will go back and read them. it has been almost three yrs of seperation for us, I thought he would eventually stop being mean and unreasonable. The first year he wa snice.

It is like he wants me to suffer.

or wanting to finds reasons to stay away from you, thus he's being an @ss.

Hugs))))))) sorry he's an insensitive fool, no one deserves to be talked to that way, my H also pretty much told me that too (I wouldn've D you long ago had we not have s9, etc etc). They have to make themselves believe that to prove them right, that it is ok to destroy/leave the M.