Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? In stabilization mode 2

I spoke with a friend in a similar sitch and she says that her and XH just claim one child each for the deduction, they've never had a problem doing that. So, I'll probably do that. Again, my XW splits the expenses for the kids 50/50, it's only fair to share the tax break due too . I'm not out to screw anybody, or make her bleed financially. I'm out to keep the best possible R between us for our kids. That doesn't mean I'll bend over backwards and accept any request, no matter how unfair, but this one is fair. Now whether I am open to amending the SA is another story! THAT will need some thought. She's scared that Revenue Canada will want proof in the form of a copy of the SA therefore she wonders whether we have to amend the SA? She forgets that RC doesn't even have to know we have a SA and what we agreed to means squat to them anyway. Many couples don't even have SA's, such as my friend, and have never had a problem with such claims. We'll see.

Btw, the deduction allowed for the second child is negligible but the deduction for the first child is $9,500 or so. Therefore claiming both children and then splitting the refund would be a rip off to me! Wow, there's so much crap to look at now. Who claims the interest earned on our joint bank account? Who claims childcare expenses? Who reports the Universal Childcare payments? Who deducts for the new child sports deduction/credit (or whatever it's called)! Adventure, adventure...I could do without it Where's my vacuum?

It's under your hand that fell asleep!

Well, five months ago today I separated from my W. What more can I say. It feels more like five weeks but it has been five months. Wow, time just keeps moving on. Today I give the Lord thanks for the many blessings He has provided me with during this difficult time. It's sure not the path I would have chosen for myself, nor do I think God has chosen it for me, but He has been, and will continue to be, kind and loving towards me as I search for whatever it is He has waiting for me around that next bend in the road. I'm just hoping that when I reach that bend there isn't a big truck parked directly in my path. That would really suck! I don't peel off roads very well.
So, happy five months to me! I'm going out now to buy myself a card, maybe I'll pick up a little something for the W too.

Wow! Time surely does fly! You sound so much stronger, and more at peace than when you moved out. Hope that continues to grow.

Coincidentally, we have one thing in common ... I, generally, don't peel off roads very well either. Something to do with the grittiness, and hardness??? Who woulda thought, 'eh!

Take care.

wii,

I did notice for the first time today that you registered back in 05. It's around the same time that the bomb ws dropped on me as well. Has this been on and off?

Are you definitely headed for D.?

Let's see, FLTC, in 03 & 04 she said "I don't know how I feel about you anymore", in 05 she said "I don't love you anymore" and in 06 she said "I'm having a R with someone else"and in 07 Whatis said "if you're planning to continue a R outside of our M then we're done". Am I heading for divorce? The day I can legally divorce her ass I will do so! I'm through, enough is enough. She wants me back she'll need to work her butt off, I'm finished.

Today I went to church for the Good Friday service. Within two minutes of sitting down a woman approached me and said "I couldn't help but notice a gentleman sitting here by himself. Are you alone?" and I replied "Yes, I am" and she said "Well, you're not alone any more, you've just met Mary" Wow, talk about a Good Friday, eh! OK, she's at least 80 years old but you've gotta start somewhere, don't ya!

wii,

Happy Easter my friend. I forgot it was Good Friday until I read your post. As a matter of fact, I forgot it was Friday. It's all the same here. The roast beef was good, however. OOPS! Don't know if I'm in sensory overload or am completely sensory deprived. I hope you found some solace in church, and I hope that especially at this time of year, our prayers are answered. Maybe not to save our marriages necessarily, but to help protect us and our childer, and yes, our spouse against the hurt that this whole horrible process will cause.

Sweet story, now if she looked like Jessica Simpson, you would have a real miracle.

Hope your Easter is filled with as much solace as possible, my friend.

FLTC, I think she might still have her own teeth too. Oh sure she does, who am I kidding and my W would never fool around on me either The things we just have to make ourselves believe, eh! Well, yesterday I returned to church for an evening service and the pastor was at the door greeting people, he looked at me and said "Whatis, can I give you a hug?" and we embraced. It was a nice gesture from someone who knows nothing about my marital plight. I don't talk about it at church, I'm guessing it might be time to start letting people into that world. A friend of mine says that I'm pretty bad at letting others support me. Maybe if I let you in, you'll let me down and I've been let down enough these days, thank you very much! But that's the underlying consciousness of Whatis talking, it's that voice that says "do it all yourself". Sometimes being very capable of handling things and carrying on also has it's downside. So maybe it's time to let those I worship with know that Whatis has his battles and their support and prayers are welcome. My doctor says that we in the helping profession are the worst in the world at asking for help for ourselves, it seems rather hypocrititical doesn't it?
Tomorrow is Easter and I will drop over to the house in the morning before church. I will deliver my Easter goodies to the girls. W has them for Easter weekend and has not invited me in the morning but I'm going anyway! In the evening we, the four of us, are going to my parents for Easter dinner. We will be a family again for one evening. W remains welcome there.
Last night my D10 called me and left a message "I guess you're out Daddy and I'm not sure that people say this but I wanted to wish you a Happy Good Friday" She's the sweetest little kid!
Later Dbers