Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again SomeWhere over the rainbow 2

well, I'm back...

boy I have alot to post about last night. but.... my hip is killing me, and I have son's b-day party to get ready for. W and son are still in "their" room sleeping. It was strange talking to Nephew last night. It was like I was talking to one of you. I kind of felt like a perfessional...He is comfused,angery,hurt..you know... I Can't really tell ya all what he thinks the cause of this was because I gave my word that I would not. I value someones promiss.
forgive any typos becasue the way I have to sit I can't really read the screen. There was no OP involved....Kinda....My Nephew has felt all of the same pain I have and has had the same thoughts an unfortunatly acted on some of them. She only filed 4 weeks ago and her I have gone over a year.His house is for sale and she took most of the furnicher. He told me last night that he told her to take what she wants because he wants to take care of his family. So then last night he was upset becasue she took EVERYTHING.. There were only 4 chairs inthe whole house left. I told him " you did this to yorself..YOU told her to take what she wants...
I have to go can't sit here any longer.. but I think the main problem with N is that they BOTH bluffed and were BOTH called on their bluff

Dr LOve

Your nephew is probably wondering if you have a second job as a therapist or something! It's good that you got to go out with him and give him some advice and support.

Hope your son's b-day party went well, and that you're feeling better.

H,

I need you over here. My H decided that he needed more space for his desk in our home office. So I helped him choose a new desk at Office Depot, and he spend hours trying to put it together. (You would have had it done in minutes, I'm sure.) Now I have his old desk, with all the myriad papers he has no interest in looking at, sitting in the middle of the study, his new desk, almost all the way put together except for a couple of screws he couldn't find and doesn't know what to do about, and enormous cardboard boxes and packing material strewn about. And he thinks he's done. I feel like Mt. Vesuvius about to explode! Things were just fine til he started this, now he will go off to work on Monday, and I will have to find a way to get the old desk into the garage and all the packaging out to the trash if I want to sit at my desk and do any work at all. Why could I have not married a capable man?

I know EXACTLY where you are coming from on that one Sara!!!!!

Well, I am still restraining myself. He is sitting at the new desk slowly going through papers on top of the old desk, and he has a garbage bag at his feet. I will see how long this lasts. Then I will offer to help him move the old desk into the garage. Keeping my fingers crossed that the job can get done!

There are still some things I have to let my groupies know about nephew sitch. But I don't want to post them here. When I get the energy I will e-mail ya. Well I would if I had you e-mails but I don't do if I did you could have expected something’s later.

Journaling,

My back is worst today. I will need to go to the doctor. W thinks I may have a pinched nerve... Not sure what that means. I have been reflecting back. As long as most of you have "known" me it seems that I have had one thing or another wrong with me. This is true but it was not always that way. Before all this started I was NEVER sick. I am thinking it could be the stress of all this crap that has affected me. IF I don't want to keep getting "sick" I need to take care of this sitch.
Right Now is a bad time. Wife is so upbeat about her possible job prospects. She has finely lowered her expectations to a reasonable level. I a calling the doctor today for an appointment Monday. I can't afford to go to emergency this weekend. (Just paid out allot of money taking son.
Last night I was sitting/laying in my chair and W asked me if I wanted some banana nut bread she made. (Wow boost to my PMA). She has also brought ice packs for me. So here I go feeling good and then this morning W tells me I will have to find a way to the doctor because she needs to study for her job interviews. So I start again taking it personal. But I know I should not. I know this is an important step in rebuilding my marriage if I want to rebuild it. I want to send W a link to retro but I am still going to wait. I do not want to over load her thinking process.
I almost cried this morning. I was lying there thinking about my sitch. I was ready to go into wife’s room and tell her lets just go our separate ways...I feel so useless right now.

Ok enough of a Dr Love pity party... I need to go call the real Dr.

Be back soon

Dr LOve

H, First rule of breaking up,-- do not say you should go separate ways when you can barely walk. this is not the time! She brought you ice packs, she's trying to get a job, you are just losing your temper. Sorry you are hurt. My son has pinched nerves, we went to an orthopedist for several months with only xrays of his spine. Finally, they ordered an MRI. the doctor looked at it for exactly one second and said, "he has a sublimated disc." So don't just get xrays, ask for the MRI, it shows a lot more.

Sara,

NO I am not going to talk R right now. This is something that just crossed me mind. I just hate being Idle. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to recovery.
YES Wife is showing concern. This is good. I have made the doctor appointment. (My doctor is female... Only woman that has wanted to see me naked in a year).

When I journal these are just thoughts that come to mind. I think with Nephew I do have an opportunity to GAL a little more now. I will try to help him but as you will see in the e-mail I will need to be very careful. The grass could start to look greener on the other side of the fence. As for you H leaving the packing material???? My W gets upset if I leave a little piece of a wrapper from opening chips or something on the counter let alone a big box.....

I am going to try to drive the Mustang back to MIL house soon and pick up my truck. This is my only objective today. Son’s party went great. Good thing I got the yard done before this happened. I am going to TRY to play some of his Games today but Video has come a long way since Pac man. Or space invaders...

DR Love

Husband, good to hear that your wife is taking what appears to be a more active role in your life again. She is showing thoughtfulness and true caring. Also happy to hear she is upbeat about this job prospect - best of luck to her!!

You're going to continue to swing up and down for a while, I'm sure. I do the same here. I think back at what I have been able to put up with over the past 6 months and then, when something minor sets me off, I feel so childish. I think it's natural but I am trying to keep everything in perspective.

The biggest thing for me and my wife right now is communication. We are trying our best to stay openminded and honest with each other. Not easy but it is easier knowing that she WANTS a stake in this marriage.

Thanks MMC,

That is my problem. W does not know or at least will not tell me what she wants. She HAS told me this. And being the caring husband that I am trying to be... I again have put this on hold. I know Job is a big thing for W so I don't want to "distract" her now with our marriage. What I do know is she is not all hell bent of leaving or she would have. But I am not as hell bent on staying anymore. I know it is counter productive but I keep getting these "lasts" stuck in my mind. Last b-day part together, last vacation, last MIL visit, IT"S me I know. Here is another one for ya Last night I told W my Cell phone is acting up. W tells me "out two year contract is up, WE can go to the company and renew our phone contract and get new phones" Ok that does not sound like someone who is planning on leaving soon does it?

Ok need to get off back is starting to hurt again. Thanks for the encouraging post MMC. I have been missing your updates...

Later
Dr LOve