Kimmie, You can send it, but will it sink into him? It's hard to reach WAS. A lot of times they're referred to as aliens on this board as they become different people entirely.
Perhaps you could look at it this way, what harm would it do? Will it do you any good? Do you think it will have the opposite effect? I'm sure it will make you feel better even if it has no effect on him.
Perhaps it depends on how strong his faith is? Is he close to Father in your church?
Well, I did send it, and I suppose that since I have been cool for the last thee months, that this may be viewed as "shaking things up". We are supposed to "shake things up" every now and then, right?
This is the one and only time that I have "pursued" my H, so I will let the chips fall as they may.
I really have been sick and tired of watching H cross himself before a meal with such piousness that it makes me want to puke. How come they don't see how hypocritical they are?
I think it was right and proper for you to send it. It's HONEST, right? It's only "pursuing" if you continue to send him pleading e-mails. Knocking him over the head with ONE is laying out to him what your personal integrity is, and letting him know what you think of his unacceptable behavior. Say your peace once, and then drop it, LIVING OUT your faith in front of him on a daily basis.
Actions mean far more than words to an infidel anyway.
Thank you, chocolateeyes. I've said my peace and I am dropping it
I am off to church now, and I am wondering if he'll even show. It's been awhile since anyone has seen him there, but that seems to coincide with H's new GF coming into the picture. Maybe he feels guilty about being an infidel.
Most all of the parishioners don't know H and I have split and they keep asking me where he is. I just say he's home, they just don't know who's home I'm talking about. It's awkward, but I am not going to be the one to break the news. H will have to do that.
I do hope he shows up. I doubt, however, he will. I had read where (and my wife later confirmed this, after she ended her affair) people in adulterous relationships "compartmentalize" their brains, and their values, so "never the two shall meet," so to speak. It's the way they protect themselves.
I think you're wise not to involve casual acquaintances. Even as a "pro-exposure" guy, I only advocate exposing to BEST friends, adult family members, and OM/OW's spouses. So I think your response is a good one. You might want to tell your husband, however, that if you're ever asked a direct question, you will not lie for him.
H never showed up, and I never expected him to. H hasn't responded to the email yet either, but really, what can he say?
I am just heartsick about this because church really means a lot to H. At least I thought it did. Anyway, I am going to keep going and try to avoid any questions from the parishioners. H will have to be the one to tell them that he shredded our vows as though they were nothing.
