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In the world of never being able to trust I had an interesting and mostly good day today. This morning we woke up had coffee. H asked if I had picked up any egg colouring kits for D. Thoughtful, that in itself is odd. Said I can go into Walmart if you like - in FE where OW lives(he didn't say this part). I said let me call and see if they are open, they weren't. I suggested the local corner store may have some. H left to check on his parents, and then sent a text saying he was going into the grocery store and the drug store in FE to see if they were open. Was gone a little over an hour and called to say he had got the nicest kit that D would like. SO of course my paranoid mind is calulating times, if he didn;t go to his parents at all he would still have only about 40 min not including time to look around the store. Ok probably was just going to the store. I hate thinking this way, at least I was quiet about it. So he comes home we dye eggs and he pulled a chair up to watch. Then we go downstairs and watch a movie. After the movie he offers to take it back - to FE again and says he wants to take his car through the car wash. Goes, is gone about an hour and calls to say he is hungry do I want to go to dinner. I made the mistake of saying, well where are you? (it is 15 min into town and 15 min home) still 30 min left over. He says I have only been gone a half hour. I corrected him and said no an hour and he got mad and said that I was being an idiot and hung up on me. I sent him a text asking what his problem was, and hey I'm hungry too. He came home, with a dirty car and said that the car wash was closed. And that he didn't know what I was talking about but he was only gone a half hour. I just wanted to forget about it, we went out and had a nice dinner, this is the first time(outside of the neccesity at Disney) that we have gone out as a family for dinner that I can remember in at least a year.

It really sucks thinking this way every time a person walks out the door. I am trying hard not too, and I am getting better at not voicing my opinion - I mean what could have really happened in the time frames we are talking about - well what likely happened is he called her on the phone if anything.

Neecy,
Been there done that with the "what time did he leave/how much time will it take him to get there/do his thing/come home" calculations! I also confronted my H once when it took him about 3 hrs for an errand that should have taken half that time! I think he also argued with me about how long he'd been gone. I didn't care. I got my point across that I knew he was doing more than he said he was. I wasn't an idiot.

I managed to DB pretty well, but sometimes I just had to confront him ... perhaps for my own integrity. Or maybe it was anger. Or both.

It does suck.

Joie

I have got in the habit of looking at the clock when he leaves I know hoe long he was gone. The problem with my H is he does not know when telling the truth is the more viable option. Of course I assume if he is gone any extra it is about OW. That being said when it was time to go out for dinner he knew that the bar I had suggested earlier - no where near his location was open. For years we have fought about this bar, strangely now if he said he drove by to see if it was open for fish and chips and stopped for a beer I would have been fine with it, but he always tells a lie if the truth may involve a confrontation.

Oh yeah, those famous "LIES OF OMISSION". Had my share of those, too. Sometimes, I think they're more appropriately titled "CMA" lies (Cover My A$$)...

and he wonders why I question everything he says, or check up to verify. Is it that hard to be honest. Really I am NOT that scary.

Well last night H fell asleep on the couch at 6:30 - funny how now that I write about this every day I can see that last week he fell asleep in the chair about this time Friday night. I decided to have a few glasses of wine at the computer - a wild night for me. At about 9:30 I went down to wake H up to go to bed, gave him a kiss on the forehead, and he got angry that I smelled like wine and stomped around, went up to bed, I got in to go to sleep too and he said why don't you go sit on the computer and drink! Now honestly, I had 2 glasses of wine, I was by no means drunk, and even if I was, I was in my own house. So he gets in bed rolls around for awhile and then says thanks for waking me up, I won't be able to fall asleep for the next 3 hours. He woke up as nasty as he fell asleep to go to work today, and I should know why he is mad. If you check last week, he was upset - but not nasty - that I had left him in the chair and couldn't believe I would leave him there all night.

Ugh... that's all I can say, jerk.
I may not having any outstanding advice at the moment, but I read over this thread, and felt I had to say something...

Keep your head up, I know it feels impossible but you can and WILL get through this.

Hi Emily, I read your thread this morning too, I also didn't have any outstanding advice but I did want to say, I LOVE your signature block!

I'm sorry Neecy. Withdrawal SUCKS. I had a similar angry spouse yesterday. I know in my heart that my WW is going through withdrawal and I know that I need to be patient to let her get through it, but it doesn't make it any easier does it?

I know what you are saying about not trusting anything. Those triggers are everywhere and not having someone to work through those with us is HARD. Sometimes I find myself wondering why I'm even doing this. Nothing we do is right. Everything is our fault. They're miserable because of their own doing, and we're the one's who are left picking up the pieces of our lives.

Ok, enough of that. Where are you in Canada? My paternal grandmother was originally from London, Ont and my brothers and I (and as many of the kids we can round up) take as many trips as we can arrange to Ontario. Usually either in the Sault area or on the eastern side of Lake Huron.

Hope you have a better weekend than mine has started out to be.

Well thank you!
It is true

I am unsure where you on in your sitch...
Have you made some goals up for yourself?
Do you have any DBing ideas?
Things you CAN and SHOULD be doing?