Yes, Tx and I have discussed getting engaged but that is not serious until we spend the time together we have planned on.
He isn't advising me on my house. I have discussed the house some with him because if we were to get married the decisions I am going to make now would affect us both. Houses here aren't selling and this house would likely be around for a good long while before selling.
Hi Happy,
You are so nice. Hugs. Really I do plan to be careful. I have plans for my friends to be around when I meet Tx and during his visit.
I did hear they cut the rates and I hope the mortgage rates follow! What a wild weekend it was in the financial world though!
Hi Jill,
You are a sweetie!
If you all had not shared what you have I wouldn't be so cautious now. Tx says I analyze everything. Well, he is right in regards to him and until he proves himself I will continue to be wary of him and his plans.
I am happy right now. It was so wonderful to go to the cluster shows again and I wandered anywhere I wanted without the thought of seeing J and D even crossing my mind. I didn't realize that till later! I was so glad. It made for a much nicer show.
Barb,
Thank you.
Aren't we always harder on ourselves? I have to see this through. I just don't want to upset you or anyone else here. I really am thanks to all of you being much more cautious!
Karen,
I wasn't upset with you and I'm NOT upset with you in any way, shape or form! I know you are friends with some of the ladies and did not realize the other person was that close to anyone. It was you I felt I had put in the awkward position and I felt that was unfair of me. Obviously I also put the other person in an awkward position as well. My intent was not to do that with anyone! I simply still wanted someone to talk too when the bb was no longer an option. So to me that was my being selfish by asking you and the other party to listen and discuss this subject with me. I truly do apologize to you. It was never my intent to do that to either of you! I know you wish me well. I consider you a friend, one I want very much to meet. I will stay safe and let someone know where I am.
Hi Wonder,
Did you mean the quote of mine about David you posted bothers you? I don't let it bother me often anymore. It was on my mind because Monday was the 5 year anniversary of when D and J filed for their divorces and it is a date I can't easily forget. I was over it by the next day, but yes Monday I was definitely out of sorts! I think because this was my first year back at the cluster and then the only day I saw them was Sunday in the same area she was in when she announced the divorce I didn't know I was getting, that they were both filing for the following day. I think since this was my first full year back at the cluster like that and the date that next year will be much easier. It is getting those firsts out of the way I think that is the hardest!
On the engagement front that is very premature talking! We have of course discussed it because of the distance between us and the difficulty of getting together. We are both looking forward to the summer and he has promised he is cutting his workload way back. He scheduled it so he had no free time after his wife died because he wanted no free time to think. He just spent all of his time working. If he doesn't follow through on that I will take it he isn't serious after all, but I think he is and is just, as he says, "the most trying person I know"!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Gee that silly thing posted twice and I didn't even catch it!!
I have been thinking a lot since reading and posting this morning.
I truly never meant to put the two people I continued talking with in any sort of difficult position and I hope that they will both accept my apology and continue our friendship. I value both of them as well as several other people from the bb.
I have also decided that even though it isn't useful to post here about Tx that if I am posting about something else that he played a part in I am no longer going to censor my posts. I know I don't totally now but I do to a great extent.
We are both adults and both free to pursue a relationship and I don't want to treat it like it is some closet affair.
It is new for me to feel that way but I reached this point last month with Tx and set some new boundaries for me with him and now I'm setting more new boundaries for me. I know this isn't a topic I can post and ask for advice about although sometimes I wish I could do so. It is a situation that I have to figure out on my own and just do my best.
I'm just very sorry I put two people in an awkward position by not thinking it would be that for them to continue talking with me about Tx.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Live n Learn: I checked out that site. It is AWESOME! There were many things on there that we have mentioned here but also, many things I hadn't really thought about. Like what type of personality is more easily "victimized".
I think everyone should take some time and read the link that Live N Learn posted. If not for ourselves (though it is likely it could happen to any one of us), for our daughters or someone else we know. The info we learn could save a life - or at least save someone from terrible heartache if they would listen.
I'm reading on it too and find it interesting. I sent the link to Tx as well because just the other night he and I were discussing people who play games with other people's emotions. He said he couldn't understand why someone would do something like that so I thought he would find the site interesting.
Thanks for posting it. I always enjoy reading and learning new things.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
My next dog show is too soon!!!!!! I'm still fighting this cold and the dogs NEED more work. The next show is 2 days and I barely survived being in the ring twice in only one evening.
The two old ladies and I are showing again the 29th and 30th. Frostbyte doesn't have any shows again till June but he might have a girlfriend before then!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Yes, the site is very interesting...and no doubt those that are of that mind set probably have checked it out as well...and many have probably improved their skills because of it...it is amazing how women fake pregnancy, men fake relationships, and they seem to go from one to another as they are discovered...leaving in their wake a path of emotional breakages and hurting souls...it is truly scary to know what this world holds....I have seen and known of many who have gotten emotionally burned on the internet...the sad thing is it is not always for money...sometimes there doesn't seem to be anything in it for the "other person" other then they get to role play a fantasy life that they really don't have...yet the weave others into it and those others have no idea that they are unsuspecting souls in this fantasy game...sad but true...
Yes I L: That is what most of us suspect with Tx. He is just playing out a fantasy. No intention of ever meeting up - he's pretty much proved that. And lie after lie after lie. I wonder what he thought of the site? I'm not sure showing him the site was a good idea at all. I think the purpose is to give women ways to protect themselves - not to give an insider report to one who is likely one of the culprits.
Sorry Pam, but that's just the way most of us see it. If I'm wrong - I'll eat my hat but I've threatened that before and I've still got a hat.
Well the bottom line is while we suspect that Tx is playing games...Pam chooses to give it time...she knows the concerns we all have...she knows the risk she is taking...she is the one that will suffer if things go wrong...that being said...it is her decision and I think we have all expressed our concerns enough that she has no doubt how most feel here...but ultimately she has to come to terms with continuing in this relationship or not... My only suggestion at this point would be for Pam to get counseling for herself...let a professional in...I think her fear of upsetting others is more a curse at this point...I understand where she is at because at one time I had many "friends" at an online game site...and I really used to feel hurt if I upset someone...my H told me that it was silly but I still felt that way...I had to remove myself from the situation because I finally saw how unhealthy it was for me to be that emotionally connected to people I really and truly didn't know...spending hours with them daily...I had to learn that the people who mean the most are those that are "real"...and then even some of them aren't worth the upset that is caused at times...I had to learn that "I was not responsible for everyone else's feelings"...that was a huge burden for me to carry...I am still a very caring person...to extent I even still care about people I don't really know...but I am more careful with my personal boundries how close I let people in...I screen carefully!
Well the bottom line is while we suspect that Tx is playing games...Pam chooses to give it time...she knows the concerns we all have...she knows the risk she is taking...she is the one that will suffer if things go wrong...that being said...it is her decision and I think we have all expressed our concerns enough that she has no doubt how most feel here...but ultimately she has to come to terms with continuing in this relationship or not... My only suggestion at this point would be for Pam to get counseling for herself...let a professional in...I think her fear of upsetting others is more a curse at this point...I understand where she is at because at one time I had many "friends" at an online game site...and I really used to feel hurt if I upset someone...my H told me that it was silly but I still felt that way...I had to remove myself from the situation because I finally saw how unhealthy it was for me to be that emotionally connected to people I really and truly didn't know...spending hours with them daily...I had to learn that the people who mean the most are those that are "real"...and then even some of them aren't worth the upset that is caused at times...I had to learn that "I was not responsible for everyone else's feelings"...that was a huge burden for me to carry...I am still a very caring person...to extent I even still care about people I don't really know...but I am more careful with my personal boundries how close I let people in...I screen carefully!
Really I do plan to be careful. I have plans for my friends to be around when I meet Tx and during his visit. 
